


Words Of Hope

by PeachyPerfect (tomssweetheart)



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood and Injury, Dirty Talk, Drama, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Loss of Limbs, Love Letters, M/M, Marine Corps, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Pining, One Night Stands, Rimming, Saoirse and Florence are a side pairing, Slow Burn, Smut, Spanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:35:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26240485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomssweetheart/pseuds/PeachyPerfect
Summary: Timmy meets Armie in a bar, the night before the man is being shipped off to Afghanistan on a mission. There is an instant physical attraction and they don’t hesitate to act on it. When they wake up the morning after, Armie is already halfway out the door, but Timmy doesn’t want it to end there and asks for Armie to keep in touch. The man is sceptical and doesn’t think he’ll ever reach out again, but just a few weeks into his mission he discovers that he can’t keep the guy with the beautiful eyes out of his head.So, he writes to him.
Relationships: Saoirse Ronan/Florence Pugh, Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Comments: 744
Kudos: 517





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I read **iworshipyou-oliver** 's fic that was inspired by Mine and I was blown away. Then I watched Mine for the seventeenth time or so and I suddenly got inspired to write my own soldier!Armie. So, this is my take and I hope you enjoy it ♥ It's a work in progress, but I love writing, so I'm not worried, haha!

[ ](https://ibb.co/JpFZtMq)

“Just go talk to him! What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

Timothée took a sip of his beer and stared at the Greek God by the bar, who was obviously oblivious to the fact that his existence was being discussed. He had spotted him immediately when he had entered, his friends - or so Timmy thought - hot on his heels. The guy was kind of hard to miss. He was tall - taller than anyone Timmy had ever been with and oh god, he was already thinking about being with the guy, but how could he not? The guy had a buzzcut that desperately pleaded to be touched, pleaded for Timmy to run his hands all over it. He was painfully handsome, a face worth memorizing. Piercing blue eyes, perfectly straight nose and soft, pink lips that revealed a set of straight, white teeth when he smiled or talked.

So, Timmy had been staring at him for a long time and the guy hadn’t noticed. Or maybe he had, but there was no way he was going to acknowledge Timmy’s presence anyway. He might not even be gay and even if he was, Timmy was sure that he could get better than him. A guy like that could get anyone he wanted, so why settle for someone like Timmy? Scrawny, pale little Timmy, who was still hiding behind his beer bottle and Jesus Christ, he was twenty _fucking_ four. He should have stopped being shy the second he graduated high school, but he hadn’t and now here he was - thinking about how bad he wanted to bury his face into the godlike guy’s chest hair, which was peeking out from the open V of his button-up shirt. Just thinking about it, because he was already glaring at his friends and signaling for them to be quiet. He wasn’t going to talk to the guy. He wasn’t.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Timmy repeated incredulously. He twirled his almost empty beer bottle around on the surface of the table and tucked a curl behind his ear. “Gee, I don’t know, Flo... He could laugh in my face and tell me to get lost.”

“Oh, come on, Tim,” Florence pushed. She snatched his beer bottle from him and set it on the table a little further away. “So what if he does? You probably won’t see him ever again.”

Timmy folded his hands and twirled his thumbs, unsure of what to do with them now that they were empty. He shrugged. “Why even bother, then?”

“Duh,” Saoirse scoffed, slapping him across the shoulder with the back of her hand. “Because there’s also the possibility that he’ll look you up and down and usher you away to have his way with you. You’re hot, asshole.”

“Am not,” Timmy protested, his eyes down and his cheeks hot.

“Fuck off, you are,” Saoirse said, before she knocked back the last bit of her cocktail. She shoved her empty glass away from her and gestured towards the bar. “Go get us some new drinks so I can make out with my girlfriend for a minute.”

“You two are the worst,” Timmy whined, but scooted out of their booth anyway. He patted his pockets to make sure his ID and money were still in there, before he picked up the girls’ empty glasses and his own bottle. “Do you want the same dri-... Oh, for fucks sake.” There were tongues and hands and closed eyes and it was just too much. He quickly stumbled his way to the bar and signalled the bartender with a nod. The man held up a finger and Timmy nodded again. He leaned his elbows on the bar and swayed back and forth on his feet, waiting patiently for his turn. The bar was packed with people, which wasn’t weird for a Saturday night. He wasn’t a very extroverted person, never really went out in the first place, but the girls had insisted for him to join, so he had. His night wasn’t half as bad as it would have been if he had stayed cooped up in his apartment.

“Hey.”

A deep, gravely voice drew his attention and Timmy wasn’t even sure if the greeting was meant for him, but he looked up anyway and _oh._ The guy was even hotter up close. Taller, more built, radiated confidence and smelled even better. His eyes were like crystal, his gaze fixated on Timmy and yes; that greeting had definitely been meant for him.

“Ehm, hi,” Timmy answered awkwardly. He told himself to make room for the man, in case he just wanted to order a drink, but he couldn’t get himself to move. He wanted to get closer, so much closer.

“Can I buy you a drink?” the gorgeous guy asked and Timmy blinked up in surprise. He wasn’t proud of the fact that he also looked behind him, expecting the guy to be talking to somebody else. 

“What- eh… Me?” he stuttered, praying to the good Lord above that the man wasn’t messing with him.

“Yes, you,” Tall And Handsome answered with a chuckle. “I’m Armie.” He offered his hand and smiled his teeth bare and _fuck,_ Timmy wanted to lick them. He wanted to lick the man’s teeth. Great.

“T-Timmy,” he said, clumsily taking Armie’s hand and squeezing it not even close to hard enough for it to be impressive. “Timothée, actually, but just Timmy. Timmy is fine.”

“Okay, Timmy,” Armie smirked, cocking a brow. “Beer?”

Timmy nodded and turned back to the bar. He took a deep breath and pinched the skin between his thumb and index finger. That hurt, so this must have been real. The handsome man, who he now knew was named Armie, was talking to him, pressing his upper arm - why was he so goddamn warm? - against his shoulder and signalling the bartender. The bartender who dropped everything he was doing and immediately came to serve Armie. What was that about?

“Two beers,” Armie said and Timmy’s knees buckled. He didn’t even want to think about what damage the man could do to him with his hands or his mouth, if even his voice caused him to liquify on the spot.

Their drinks were placed in front of them and the bartender shook his head when Armie held out a ten dollar bill. “On the house, Sir,” the man said humbly, before he went back to his previous task. Timmy was so stunned by the interaction that he forgot why he had been sent to the bar in the first place. Sir?

It wasn’t until after he had swallowed the first sip of his fresh beer that he remembered he hadn’t come here alone. He turned around to see if his friends were still there and was met with two pairs of curious eyes and encouraging smiles. He shrugged apologetically, but Florence and Saoirse both shook their head and waved him off. With a sheepish smile he turned back to Armie and blushed when he noticed that the man was looking at him.

“Friends of yours?”

“Yeah, my best friends, actually,” Timmy said, smiling fondly.

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”

The sip of beer he had just taken went down the wrong pipe and sent him into a coughing fit that brought tears to his eyes. Armie’s big hand was on his back, rubbing in circles to calm him down, but it only did the opposite. Timmy could feel his stomach flutter and his chest twist in desire. There was something about this man that made him weak - not just in the knees, but everywhere. 

“You-,” he coughed one last time, cleared his throat and tried again, “you don’t mean that.”

“Oh, but I do,” Armie said, bringing a hand up to tuck a stray curl behind Timmy’s ear. Timmy blushed and took another swig of his beer, fiddling with the label. It almost startled him when Armie spoke up again. “Are you from around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“Yeah, I live just around the corner, but I-... I mean, I don’t go out much,” Timmy said with a shrug. He felt warm under the man’s gaze and even just the size of him made Timmy want to cling to him and see if he tasted as good as he smelled.

“That’s a shame,” Armie told him with a sweet smile. He drank down half of his beer in one go and put the bottle on the bar. 

“Oh, I don’t-,” Timmy swallowed thickly when Armie took a step closer. “It’s not really my thing,” he eventually managed, trying to ignore the way Armie’s thigh was now rubbing up against his, but it was already making his cock hard.

“What is your thing?” Armie carefully took Timmy’s beer from his hands, which he was grateful for, because he was about to go slack against the man’s body.

“I- I read a lot and I listen-... I listen to… _Oh_... music…”

Armie’s lips were hot on his neck, the stubble on his cheeks rough on his skin and his hands firm on his hips. Timmy’s knees buckled and he grabbed on to the man’s biceps. Armie’s lips moved up over his jaw, pressed soft, teasing kissed against his cheek and then found their way to his mouth. Their breaths mingled and their lips paused just short of touching. Eyes met, smiles were exchanged and then they were kissing. Armie’s tongue was persistent, but smooth and Timmy welcomed him in as if they had been kissing for years. The man was good at it, too. Not too slow, not too fast, not too much tongue. He was amazing, actually, and Timmy never wanted him to stop. He wanted that tongue wherever it could reach and _yes,_ especially there. His asshole twitched inside his underwear.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Armie asked between soft little pecks to his bottom lip. “You know, since this isn’t really your thing.” He chuckled and Timmy already loved that sound.

“Please,” he whispered, fully aware of how needy he sounded, even to his own ears, but he couldn’t care less. He absolutely wanted to get out of here.

Armie let go of his hips and took a hold of his hand instead. “Do you need to tell your friends that you’re leaving?” he asked, rubbing a thumb over Timmy’s knuckles.

Timmy glanced over at his friends and blushed furiously when both girls gave him the thumbs up, before they went back to figuring out if they could touch each other’s tonsils with their tongues.

“They’ll be fine, apparently.”

Armie turned to the bartender and gave him a quick wave. “Thanks, Peter,” he shouted over the music and Timmy frowned again at their familiar interaction, but decided not to think too much of it. Maybe Armie came here a lot and they were on a friendly basis. 

“See you in six months. Be safe,” the man behind the bar replied and okay, that was even more odd.

“Six months?” Timmy found himself asking once they stepped outside. The fresh summer night air tousled his curls and he felt a little more sober, even though he wasn’t even close to being buzzed.

“It’s nothing,” Armie told him with a smile. He wrapped an arm around Timmy’s waist and pulled him a little closer. “My place or yours?” He leaned in to steal another kiss from Timmy’s lips and the younger man forgot all about the strange exchange of conversation. He reached up to take the collar of Armie’s shirt between the fingers of his right hand, tugging him closer, and grabbed on to the back of the man’s head with his left hand. He stroked the short, prickly hairs under his palm and hummed against Armie’s lips.

“My place,” he breathed once they had parted, before he slipped his hand into Armie’s again and began leading him towards his apartment.

* * *

Timmy arched his back and threw his head back against his pillow, gasping for breath. Armie’s body was rock solid and warm on top of him, his abs and pectoral muscles even more prominent than Timmy had imagined them to be. The man’s chest was covered in a layer of soft, golden hair and felt scratchy against his own, but did it make him hard. 

They had started to get naked as soon as they had entered Timmy’s apartment - their clothes scattering the floor on the short distance from the front door to his bedroom door. Timmy had felt shy at first, his body too lanky and pale in contrast to Armie’s built, tanned figure. He had tried to cover up in embarrassment, but had soon found out that Armie wasn’t as bothered by their differences as he was. In fact, Armie wasn’t bothered at all. He had scooped Timmy up in his arms, thrown him onto his bed and had let his hands wander over the entire length of his body, causing goosebumps to break out on his skin. He was sweaty and breathless within the matter of minutes, his cock leaking against his lower stomach.

Now, Armie was sucking on the sensitive spot beneath his ear while their hips rolled to meet each other, creating a friction they both desperately needed, but it wasn’t enough. Timmy tried to communicate his need for more by digging his fingers into the back of Armie’s shoulders, because words were failing him. Fortunately, Armie seemed to understand what he wanted. The older man pulled his face back from where it had been nuzzling the length of Timmy’s neck and pressed their lips together, kissing him hotly. 

“Condom,” he whispered, his warm breath mingling with Timmy’s as their tongues tangled outside of their mouths. Timmy blindly grabbed for the drawer in his nightstand and yanked it open, fumbling inside until his fingers touched a smooth foil package and his bottle of lube. He pushed both items into Armie’s outstretched hand and it was then that their kiss had to end. The older man sat back and tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth. He turned his head to the side and spit it out, before he swiftly rolled the condom over his cock, which - as Timmy suddenly noticed - was cut, at least eight inches long and very _thick._ His mouth watered, but he didn’t give in to the urge. He figured there would be plenty of time for him to swallow Armie’s cock down his throat in the morning. 

“On your front,” Armie commanded and Timmy wiggled underneath him to turn onto his stomach. The man’s low, raspy voice reverberated deep into his soul and made him want to obey. It almost sounded like a promise to the most intense form of pleasure and Timmy was ready. Ready for anything.

He slipped his arms under his pillow and held on to the wooden slats of his headboard as Armie moved around behind him, between his spread legs. He was about to glance over his shoulder to see what Armie was doing, when strong hands gripped his hips and yanked them upwards, forcing him onto his knees. His face hit the pillow and he whimpered pathetically, as he immediately felt entirely exposed to the man.

Armie hummed in appreciation and swiped a wet finger across Timmy’s hole, circling the wrinkly skin surrounding his tight pucker. The younger man hissed at the sudden sensation and then pushed his ass back against the touch, wanting more, inside.

“A-Armie,” he panted, but whatever he was going to say was cut off by a sharp smack against his backside. It sent a hot thrill down his spine and his eyes shot open in shock. He had never been spanked before, had never even thought that it was something he was into, but his cock leaped between his thighs and his balls throbbed, obviously proving him wrong.

“You’re a needy little boy,” Armie stated, before he dealt out another slap and then pushed a first finger inside Timmy’s tight channel.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Timmy moaned, biting into the fabric of his pillow. He rolled his hips, pushing himself further onto Armie’s finger while simultaneously seeking friction against his aching erection. Armie chuckled behind him and curled his finger, pressing the tip up against his little bundle of nerves. Timmy’s body shook and he shouted his pleasure, the sound muffled by his pillow.

Armie quickly worked him open up to three fingers, before he finally pulled them back and wiped the excess lube over his sheathed erection. Then, he pressed the bulbous head of his cock against Timmy’s opening. He waited for Timmy to take a breath and when he exhaled, he pushed in and buried himself to the hilt in his slick heat.

“Fuuuuuck,” Timmy moaned, letting go of the headboard to push himself up onto his hands. He could already tell that this was going to be the fuck of his life and he wanted to steady himself for it. Armie folded himself across his back and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. It was almost as if he wanted to tell Timmy to relax and surrender himself without actually telling him to. Although he didn’t have to, because Timmy surrendered willingly. 

When Armie started moving, Timmy wanted to thank the universe for having them cross paths. His ass was being stretched wide open and he thought that he could feel Armie’s cock in his tummy. It grazed all his sensitive spots and for the first time since he had become sexually active, he knew that he was going to end up feeling more than satisfied. No one had ever filled him this perfectly before.

“Shit, you feel amazing,” Armie grunted and if Timmy’s brain hadn’t felt like pudding, he would have probably returned the sentiment. Instead, all that came out of his mouth were incoherent words and breathless sounds of pure ecstacy. 

Armie increased the pace of his hips and wrapped both of his arms around Timmy’s upper body, pulling him up and against his chest. Timmy’s head lolled back against the man’s shoulder and he moaned filthily. The new position caused Armie to slide into him even deeper and the angle was just right against his prostate. His balls drew up tight between his thighs and his cock jerked violently. Timmy looked down at himself, watched a clear string of precum dribble down onto the sheets and knew that he was going to come untouched. 

“I’m gonna, I’m gonna,” he gasped. He raised his right arm and wrapped it around Armie’s neck while his left hand reached back and grabbed on to the man’s ass cheek. Armie sank his teeth into the skin on Timmy’s neck and snapped his hips back and forth on full speed, his balls slapping against the younger man’s ass.

The fiery ball of pleasure that had been forming in the pit of Timmy’s stomach since the moment Armie had entered him with a finger, suddenly exploded. His abs tightened, his ass clenched down on Armie’s cock and then he was coming, shooting pearly white ropes of cum across his sheets. Armie reached down and wrapped his fingers around his dick, stroking his foreskin up and down over his tip to milk him until he had nothing left to give. Timmy’s knees buckled and he panted in relief, sagging against Armie’s chest. The older man grunted loudly, shuddered against his back and Timmy imagined that he could feel him coating his insides with his release. 

Eventually, Armie pulled his softening cock free and took the condom off, tying it into a knot. He threw it over the edge of the bed and collapsed against the mattress, pulling Timmy with him. He tucked the boy under his arm and wrapped his other arm around his waist. Timmy smiled in content and pressed a kiss against Armie’s fuzzy chest, before he closed his eyes and allowed himself to doze for a while. He felt completely and utterly wrecked, but satisfyingly so, as he had predicted.

The last thing he noticed, before he lost the battle against sleep, was how Armie pulled the comforter over them both and squeezed him just a little tighter against his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie tugged on the collar of the blouse of his combat utility uniform, feeling restricted as nerves got the best of him. He was sweating against his backpack, which was heavy with equipment. His feet already hurt, having to get used to the clunky boots all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe the love you guys are pouring all over this story. Thank you so so so much, I promise I'll keep updating regularly ♥

Armie tried to be as quiet as possible as he redressed himself the following morning, shooting a glance over his shoulder every now and then to make sure that Timmy was still asleep. He had slept in much later than he had originally planned - or not planned at all, since he wasn’t supposed to have stayed over at some one night stand’s place anyway - and he was in a hurry to get home. He really just wanted to sneak out quietly to spare them both any awkward conversations. The guy had been a good fuck, an amazing one even, if he dared say so, but he had a plane to catch and he didn’t have the time nor the energy to talk about what had happened the night before. They fucked and that’s it.

He looked around for his shirt and his shoes and remembered that they were probably still lying on the floor of Timmy’s hallway, as they had been in a hurry to get naked last night. Armie couldn’t even remember the last time he had been so hot for someone, let alone be impatient enough to shed his clothes before they reached a bed. The guy hadn’t been a disappointment either. He’d been warm and tight and pliant and all the right kinds of _fuck yes._

He zipped up his jeans and made his way to the door on the tips of his toes, but before he was even halfway there, he bumped into the edge of a desk with his hip, clenching his teeth together to suppress the train of curse words that wanted to leave his lips.

“Hey, are you leaving?” 

Armie closed his eyes in annoyance, gathering his wits, before feigning a smile and turning back to the bed, where Timmy was sleepily rubbing at his eyes.

“Uh, yeah. I have a plane to catch,” he said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. He really didn’t want to explain his situation, but there was something about this guy. Not only was he insanely good looking, but he had actually been really sweet and Armie truly wasn’t that big of an asshole.

“Oh, are you going on vacation or something?” Timmy asked curiously. He sat up in bed and leaned back against his headboard, the covers slipping down to his hips. The sight of his chest - the perfectly pale expanse of skin and the rosy, perky nipples - had Armie shuffling a few inches closer. Like a moth to a flame.

“No,” Armie quickly answered when he noticed that he had fallen silent for a moment. “Not even close.”

“Oh.” Timmy frowned. “Armie, do you think that maybe-... I mean, I had a really good time last night. Could we-... I would really… Shit.”

Armie watched the guy lower his eyes and scratch his head, burying his fingers into his curls. He immediately felt a surge of regret rush through his chest. He had known last night, before he had gone out, that it probably wouldn’t be the smartest thing to hook up with someone, not before his departure. However, he had been so pent up with anxiety, stress and dread that he promised himself to not let things get awkward. He was going to find himself a hot piece of ass, go to town on it and leave without further notice. However, he had fucked up that promise by falling asleep and staying way longer than he should have and now he had to face the consequences of having to give someone an explanation.

“Look, kid,” he started, but he was immediately cut off.

“I’m twenty-four, I’m not a fucking kid.”

_Hit a nerve much?_

“Timmy, listen,” Armie tried again. He sat down on the edge of the bed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m leaving for Afghanistan. I’m a U.S. Marine and I’ll be going on a hundred and seventy-nine day mission.”

“Oh,” Timmy said again, an emotion in his voice that Armie didn’t dare to acknowledge. It sounded like pain, disappointment and maybe even fear and _Goddamnit,_ he wasn’t going to acknowledge it. No.

“Yeah, so… This has been fun and you were great, but I won’t be back any time soon.” He stood up again, ready to leave for real this time, but Timmy suddenly shot forward in bed and grabbed on to his wrist. His fingers were strong and warm on his skin and Armie couldn’t get himself to pull away. Instead, he turned to face the guy and silently cursed himself for doing so.

“We could… I mean, I could give you my number?” He almost sounded like he was pleading and the guy’s big, green eyes seemed to burn two painful holes into Armie’s soul. “Maybe you can call me, some time,” Timmy added, biting the corner of his lip.

“I don’t get cellphone reception there,” Armie found himself saying and even to his own ears it sounded like a lame excuse. It wasn’t a lie, there really was no way for him to call Timmy from where he would be staying, but if he really wanted, he could have stayed in touch. It was just easier to disappoint the guy now. He had been here before; the part where he had to explain yet again that this was his life, take it or leave it. The latter was usually the easier option and thus Armie had vowed to never get involved again, as long as he was part of the Marine Corps. He was absolutely clueless as to why he was still standing here, in Timmy’s tiny bedroom, when this had been nothing but a one time thing. There was nothing between them and it had to stay that way, for his own sake.

“Please, Armie,” Timmy whispered. He reached into the drawer of his bedside table and Armie was almost afraid that the guy would pull out another condom. He’d have trouble rejecting a second round. Instead, Timmy pulled out a notebook. He tore out an empty page and folded it in half, before he placed it on the cover of the hardcover little book. He retrieved a pen from the drawer and scribbled something down, before he put the items back and handed Armie the note.

“What’s this?” Armie asked. He looked down at the note and noticed that it was the address of the guy’s apartment. _Timothée Chalamet. Fancy._

“At least write me?” Timmy asked and Armie found himself wanting to make that promise, but he really couldn’t. Even if there had been feelings involved - _which there weren’t,_ Armie told himself - he just couldn’t make a promise to another guy who wouldn’t be able to accept what he had to offer. 

He swallowed an unexpected lump in his throat and avoided making eye contact with Timmy, but he did slip the note into the pocket of his jeans. He ran a hand through his hair, not yet used to how short it was, and then made his way to the door.

“I had a good time. Thank you,” he said softly, almost politely, before he finally walked out and closed the door behind him. He couldn’t bear to look back and take another look at the guy he had spent the night with. Some meaningless guy with big, beautiful eyes shouldn’t mess him up like this and yet his steps felt heavy on his way to the door. It was right then that he decided he wasn’t going to write to him. Ever.

He gathered his shirt from the floor and slipped it on, before he stepped into his sneakers, which were scattered a few feet apart, and then he just bolted.

* * *

Armie tugged on the collar of the blouse of his combat utility uniform, feeling restricted as nerves got the best of him. He was sweating against his backpack, heavy with equipment. His feet already hurt, having to get used to the clunky boots all over again. It had been months since he had worn them and he now realized that maybe he should have walked them in a little. He patted his chest, making sure that he hadn’t forgotten to put his dog tags on and then shoved his hand into the pocket of his trousers to keep himself from fiddling even more.

They had about fifteen minutes left before they would have to board the plane. His fellow Marines were gathering by the gate, but Armie liked to keep back and stay in his safe, New York based bubble for as long as he could. He was used to the whole song and dance by now, but that didn’t mean that he was less nervous every time he was being shipped off. This wasn’t his dream job and if he could make the choice today, he would walk away from that airport and never look back. He couldn’t make that choice today, though. Today, he had to be tough - man up, as his father would day - and get on that plane to fulfill his duty. The illusion of coming back a new man had faded years ago, but he still thought that he could learn something new on every mission.

“I’m here, I’m here, I’m here!”

Armie looked up just in time to see his best friend running towards the gate, his backpack bouncing on his back and his cheeks flushed. His hair was sticking out every which way and his uniform blouse was half unbuttoned, but he looked wide awake and ready for anything. Armie laughed quietly. He couldn’t have done this without Nick.

“You’re late, Delli Santi,” Sergeant Garcia grumbled, raising a dark brow. The man looked impressive and intimidating, but Armie had gotten to know him considerably well. He was a family man with norms and values. He was a man of strict rules and schedules, but he would do no harm.

“I know, I’m so sorry, Sir,” Nick said, standing up straight. “It won’t happen again.”

“Damn right, it won’t,” the older man said, and then turned back to the Corporal he had been speaking to before Nick arrived. Nick hiked up his backpack and made his way to Armie. They shared a brotherly hug and a knowing grin.

“Looks like I wasn’t the only one getting lucky last night,” Armie said and Nick saluted him in response. Armie laughed and patted his friend on the back.

“So, how was he?” Nick asked, lowering his voice so only Armie could hear him. They weren’t standing close to their group, but there were still a lot of other people around and they were supposed to set an example.

“Gorgeous. Soft, tight and wonderfully submissive,” Armie answered, trying to sound as unaffected as possible.

As soon as he had gotten home that morning, he had taken a long, hot shower, trying to wash away the guilt, along with the scent of his activities. The smell of sweat and sex on his skin had been overwhelming and he had wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. He didn’t want any reminders of what had happened at Timmy’s place. In fact, he didn’t want any reminders of Timmy at all. He was gorgeous and probably sweeter than Armie deserved, but he wasn’t in for anything more than a one night stand. The no strings attached arrangement. Meaningless sex, for physical pleasure only. He had never let one of his hookups affect him and he wasn’t about to start. 

So, why was it that he couldn’t seem to forget those bright green eyes? And why had he slipped that fucking piece of paper into his wallet before he had left his appartment?

“Nice,” Nick said with a chuckle, yanking him back to reality. Armie smiled uncomfortably.

“How about yours?”

Nick wiggled his eyebrows. “Blonde, blue eyes and tiny. Huge tits.”

“The usual, then,” Armie said, shaking his head in amusement. Nick merely shrugged and started buttoning his shirt properly. Taking in his familiar surroundings for the very last time, Armie stared out of the floor to ceiling windows of the airport. He could tell that it was going to take a lot for him to get his mind on his mission and noticed that it was worse every time. 

_“You’re a man now, Armand. Do something useful with your life.”_

Armie grimaced and shook off the cold chill that crept up his spine. It didn’t matter how much he dreaded this. There was at least one thing in his life that he could do right in the criticizing eyes of his father and that had to be worth something. The man had outright laughed at him when he had said that he wanted to become a graphic designer. Instead of being the supportive parent Armie had hoped for, his father had enlisted him to join the Marine Corps. After that first disappointment, he had never made the mistake again to tell his parents anything. Whenever they felt the need to pester him about his love life - or rather the lack thereof - he would simply steer the conversation away from it and ask his father about the business. And every time he thanked the good Lord above on his bare knees that he had moved out and away early in his life. At least New York allowed him to be who he really was and to develop himself into someone he could be quite proud of. Love wasn’t for him, anyway. 

“Come on,” he said to Nick, when he noticed that Sergeant Garcia was motioning for them to come closer. He bumped shoulders with his friend and made his way over to the rest.

_Goodbye, New York. See you in six months, hopefully._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was your weekend? ♥


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it took him hours to fall asleep, tossing and turning while blue eyes and solid muscle haunted his thoughts. Other times he did fall asleep easily, but then his dreams consisted of vivid memories of the night he had spent with the handsome soldier and he would either wake up feeling horrible or he would wake up with cum stuck to the inside of his boxer briefs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've done this before - shame on me - but I reaaaally need to thank **JoliePrudence** for beta reading this story so quickly every time I ask for it. She's amazing, I love her, please go check out her stories, because she is crazily talented! <3  
> Anyway, here's chapter 3, enjoy! Or should I say, prepare? Haha! Thanks so much for all the love, it means more than I can express <3

“Ow, Flo!”

Timmy glared at his friend as he rubbed his upper arm, where he had just been slapped. Both Florence and Saoirse were sending him equally annoyed glares, seated across from him in the booth at the café with their arms crossed in front of their chests. If Timmy hadn’t been privy to the fact that they were fucking, he would have made some joke about how they could have been twins. That thought actually made him physically uncomfortable, so he pushed it down to never be brought up again.

“Stop moping already, for fucks sake! It’s been two weeks, Tim,” Florence complained, but Timmy knew that it wasn’t just because he hadn’t been the best company. There was a flicker of concern in both girl’s eyes that he hadn’t seen there in a long time.

He had met both of them in college. The girls hadn’t been a couple yet and they had become the closest friends Timmy had ever had. They had the same interests and the same mindset, which worked wonders for study classes. The only thing they didn’t have in common was the desire to go out and explore the night, but that had never been an issue. Timmy would join them on occasion, but he preferred being sprawled out on his plushy, old couch with a good book or with his earphones in. Neither Saoirse nor Florence had ever pressured him into becoming more extroverted, but they had voiced their worries about him being anti-social and closed off more than once.

Timmy had never felt the need to be very social. He liked being alone, liked that he had no one to justify himself to. It took a lot for him to find interest in being with other people and when he finally did, well… It never ended well for him. It was better to stay away and not let anyone in.

So, why was he so hung up on the guy he had barely exchanged three words with? Why was the gorgeous man he had had such an amazing night with so twisted into his every thought and every move? It didn’t make sense and it didn’t feel good, but it was there and Timmy couldn’t explain it. He was drawn to a man he didn’t know and whom he would probably never see again. Armie had made that quite clear. 

“I know,” he mumbled apologetically. “I don’t know why I can’t seem to get over him.” It was embarrassing to admit, but what else was he going to do? He obviously couldn’t hide anything from these girls and even if he tried, they would just pester him until he spit it out. That actually made him smile a little. He loved his friends.

“It was a one night stand, Timmy,” Saoirse said softly, reaching out to take his hand in hers. “The whole point of a one night stand is that there are no strings attached. It shouldn’t affect you this much.”

“I can’t explain it, Sersh,” he sighed, tangling his fingers with hers. He placed the elbow of his left arm on the table and supported his head on his open palm. His glass of orange juice was right under his chin and he stuck his tongue out to pull the straw into his mouth. He took a small sip and let the cool, tangy drink slide down his throat. 

“Well, something must have been special about it,” Florence said, leaning forward over the table. She crossed her arms on the surface and rested her chin on her top arm. “We took you out for lunch and we ordered your favorite food and you ate it all in silence. No sounds of gratitude, no moans of pleasure… The guy fucked you up.”

“Oh, he fucked me, alright.” Timmy snorted, earning himself a smack on the head from Saoirse.

“Seriously, Tim,” she said with a frown. “You haven’t talked about it at all and we’re worried. Please, talk to us.”

“I don’t even know what to tell you, because I don’t know why I feel this way,” Timmy said, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. “We barely even spoke when he came up to me at the bar. He asked if he could buy me a drink, then he asked for my name and if I lived around here. Shit, he called me beautiful and I wobbled on my legs like a pathetic little school girl.”

“Yeah, that sounds like you,” Florence mumbled, a cheeky smile around her lips. Saoirse elbowed her in the ribs and sent her a warning glare. Timmy scrunched up his nose and rubbed his eyebrows with his index finger and his tumb, because _fuck_ , it didn’t sound like him at all and it had still happened. He was shy, but he wasn’t usually that easy. 

“So, that’s it?” Saoirse asked. “He called you beautiful and you immediately sucked his dick?”

“I don’t think the people in the back heard you,” Timmy hissed, his eyes widening in shock. “And I didn’t suck his dick.”

“Bet you wanted to.”

“Shut up, Flo.” Timmy dropped his head onto the surface of the table and groaned. “Again, I don’t know why I feel so sucky. We had sex and it was amazing, probably the best I’ve ever had, but then he just upped and left in the morning. I tried to give him my number, but he said he wouldn’t have reception in Afghanistan and he didn’t sound like he wanted much to do with me, anyway.”

Saoirse rubbed her chin between her fingers and frowned. “We have to find a way to help you get over this asshole.”

“He wasn’t an asshole,” Timmy defended the man. “He was just… resolute.” He remembered the way Armie’s eyes had shone with something that resembled uncertainty, maybe even sadness, but it wasn’t a sadness over the situation. It was almost like the man had been sad over something deep inside him, but Timmy didn’t know him at all and he didn’t want to make those assumptions. He’d be pondering over it until he’d lose his sanity.

“We’ll think of something,” Saoirse said, sounding determined. She let go of his hand and picked up her coffee mug. “Drink your OJ, baby,” she told Timmy, gesturing to his half full glass.

“Uhg, yes _Mom_ ,” he scoffed, but gave her a grateful little smile anyway.

* * *

It was a week later when Timmy finally dared to admit to himself that he was screwed. Completely and utterly fucked. He was sitting at the dining room table at his parents’ house for their weekly Sunday dinner and all he could do was stab his food with his fork. He pushed it around on his plate more than he actually ate it. His mother had already voiced her concern as soon as he had stepped over the threshold of the front door earlier, commenting on the bags under his eyes and the messy way his curls were sticking to his face. He had blushed and mumbled that he hadn’t been sleeping much and it wasn’t exactly a lie. Sometimes it took him hours to fall asleep, tossing and turning while blue eyes and solid muscle haunted his thoughts. Other times he did fall asleep easily, but then his dreams consisted of vivid memories of the night he had spent with the handsome soldier and he would either wake up feeling horrible or he would wake up with cum stuck to the inside of his boxer briefs. There were rare nights in between where he would actually get a few good hours of sleep, but waking up to his lonely reality was like a smack in the face. It occurred to him that he had never really felt lonely before and the thought sent a fresh wave of anxiety though his stomach.

“I have to… I’ll be right back,” he excused himself, before he pushed his chair back from the table and sprinted down the hall to the bathroom. Once inside, he lifted the lid of the toilet and knelt down in front of it. He didn’t know if he was actually nauseous, but his stomach was twisting and turning and he didn’t want to embarrass himself. He took a few deep breaths and wiped a hand across his forehead, noticing that it was slightly damp. He closed his eyes and silently prayed that he wasn’t coming down with a bug or something. He hated being sick.

“Timmy? Sweetheart, are you alright?”

The door to the bathroom opened slowly and Timmy silently cursed for not locking it when he had closed it behind himself. His mother entered with a typical shimmer of worry in her eyes and Timmy bit his lip to suppress the sudden knot of emotion in his chest. Was he really this far gone?

“I’m okay, Mom,” he said, trying to sound indifferent, but it came out as more of a whisper than an actual sound and he immediately closed his eyes in defeat.

“Tim,” she scoffed, closing the door behind her. She shuffled closer to him and crouched down beside him, placing a hand on his back. She rubbed her palm in circles between his shoulder blades and stroked his hair back from his face with her other hand.

“It’s nothing, Momma, really, I’m-...” Before he could finish his sentence, his stomach turned and he gagged. He surged towards the toilet bowl and grabbed the sides, breathing hard. He gagged again and this time everything he had gotten down during dinner came back up. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had thrown up and he definitely couldn’t remember ever throwing up for no apparent reason. When the wave of nausea died down, he spit into the toilet bowl and flushed, before he sat back on his heels.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t nothing,” Nicole said, as she moved behind Timmy and gently pulled him back against her chest. His body went slack and he panted from exhaustion. She placed a soft hand on his forehead and encouraged him to lay his head back against her shoulder. When he did, she slipped her fingers into his curls and massaged his scalp, trying to soothe him the way she used to do when he was young. 

“I’m just so tired,” Timmy whispered. His throat felt scratchy and his eyes were watering. He had never regretted moving out on his own, but he couldn’t deny that his mother’s love might be a better cure than being alone right then.

“You’re staying here tonight,” Nicole told him firmly. She pressed a kiss against his damp temple. “Come on, let me get you to your room.”

“Are you sure, Mom?” Timmy asked, turning his head to look up at her. “I don’t wanna be-...”

“Sshh, to bed with you,” she said lovingly. Timmy gave her a grateful smile and let himself be helped back on his feet. He rinsed his mouth at the sink and splashed some water in his face, before he followed his mother out of the bathroom and down the hall to his childhood bedroom.

Everything was as it was when he had left. The posters on the wall, his soccer trophies on the dresser at the foot of the bed - the only difference was that there was no dirty laundry scattered around on the floor and that his bed was made. The room had a mother’s touch written all over it and he let himself slump down on his bed in relief. This must have been the most relaxed he had felt since the night he had fallen asleep in Armie’s arms. He scowled at the memory and pressed his face into his pillow.

“I’m going to get you a cup of tea and a bucket, just in case,” Nicole said, as she sat down on the edge of his bed. She stroked a hand through his curls again and rubbed her thumb over a prominent cheekbone. “We’re going to talk when I get back, Timothée.”

“Uh-oh, full name,” Timmy mumbled with a chuckle, but Nicole obviously didn’t find it amusing. She raised an eyebrow and glared at her son, making him feel like he was ten years old again.

“I’m serious. Now, get under the covers,” she told him, before she got up and left. Timmy sighed, but found that he didn’t mind his mother’s persistence. He even kind of liked it. Maybe she could tell him what to do to get over the man who had been keeping him up at night.

He slowly got up from his bed and took off his shirt and his jeans. He left his socks on and crawled under the covers, deeply inhaling the scent of home. He was about to close his eyes when his door cracked open again and his sister stuck her head inside.

“Dude, did you puke?”

“Fuck off,” Timmy groaned, pulling his pillow over his head.

“Hey, don’t be dumb,” Pauline said indignantly. “You’re my baby brother, I worry about you.”

Timmy peeked out from under his pillow and gave his sister a genuine smile. “Thanks, Paulie.”

“Any time you want to talk, okay?” she said and when Timmy nodded, she left and closed the door behind her.

Closing his eyes for real this time, Timmy snuggled into his pillow and allowed himself to float between consciousness and sleep for a while. His stomach was still a little uneasy and his head was spinning. He wondered if he would finally be able to sleep tonight and actually feel well-rested when he woke up in the morning. Would it make a difference that he wasn’t sleeping in the bed in which he had been fucked six ways from Sunday by the man who continued to do so in his dreams? 

When he opened his eyes again, it was dark outside and his mother was sitting on his desk chair, which she had rolled up to the side of his bed. She was reading a book, supporting her head on her hand and Timmy smiled at how serense she looked. He cleared his throat to let her know that he was awake and she immediately looked up at him, putting her book aside. She gave him a loving smile and reached out to feel his forehead.

“How are you feeling?” she asked softly. Timmy propped his pillow up against the headboard and sat up a little. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and considered her question. His stomach seemed to have calmed down and he was a little less dizzy, but he still felt like he could sleep for weeks, if the universe finally let him.

“Better, I guess,” he said, before he scrunched up his nose and looked at his mother apologetically. “I’m sorry for breaking down like that, Mom. I promise it wasn’t the food, I love your cooking.”

“What was it then, baby?” She picked up the cup of tea that she had promised and carefully handed it to Timmy. He took it and took a tentative sip. The warm liquid felt like heaven in his stomach, so he took a bigger sip and closed his eyes to fully enjoy it. It was nice to be taken care of and to not have to think about being an adult for once. His apartment, his job, his social life; it could all wait until tomorrow.

“Mom, you’re gonna laugh in my face when I tell you,” Timmy said, already embarrassed. He was going to confess that he was crazy about a man he barely knew and it sounded ridiculous, even to his own ears.

“Have I ever laughed in your face?” Nicole asked and Timmy flinched, because she had indeed never done that and he knew that she never would.

“I think… Mom, this is crazy, but I think I’m in love with someone I don’t know,” he whispered. It felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders and he sagged in relief, pulling the covers a little further up over his chest. His mother took the cup of tea from his hands and placed it on his night stand, so that he wouldn’t spill.

“I need you to explain that at least a little bit, sweetheart,” Nicole said with a sweet smile and Timmy breathed out an awkward little laugh.

“I, uhm… Okay, so, I went out with Saoirse and Florence three weeks ago and I met a man,” Timmy started, scratching the back of his neck. He sucked his lips in, digging deep inside himself for courage he knew was there somewhere. His parents were very open, loving people. They’d always accepted him for who he was and endlessly supported his dreams, but he had never had to talk about his lovelife before. Mostly because he’d never really had one and when he did engage with people, it wasn’t long enough for him to mention to his parents. He decided that there was a first time for everything and that he had to get it over with. “He was… Mom, he was gorgeous. Really tall, handsome, blue eyes… And he wanted me, Mom. _Me._ So, I took him home and we had a… rather pleasant night, but then in the morning he was leaving before I was even properly awake. Turns out he’s a marine and he had to leave for Afghanistan that same day.”

Nicole listened carefully and tucked a lock of her auburn colored hair back behind her ear. “That’s a very tough job, Timmy. I hope you understand that,” she said. Timmy threw his head back and sighed, not entirely sure about what he felt and how to explain it.

“Of course I understand that,” he sighed, running a hand through his curls. “I don’t blame him for having to leave, but I’m left with this strange fucking feeling that I can’t get rid of.”

“Language, baby,” Nicole said, before she reached out and took Timmy’s hand. “What do you think you’re feeling?”

“It was like he was made for me, Mom. He was good to me and he made me feel safe and I don’t think I’ve ever been attracted to someone like I was to him.” He paused for a few seconds and bit his lip, before he continued with a blush high on his cheeks. “He keeps popping up in my dreams and when I’m awake, I can’t seem to stop thinking about him. I barely sleep and food doesn’t taste good. Mom, I’m so tired.”

“Timmy,” Nicole whispered with a smile. “Sounds like you’re a little in love, indeed.”

“I can’t be in love with him, because we barely spoke. I don’t know anything about him, aside from the fact that his name is Armie and he’s a U.S. marine. How ironic is that? _Armie_ in the army. Mom, I’m pathetic,” Timmy whined. He curled up on his side and hugged the other pillow against his chest.

“Is there a way for you to contact him? Do you know if he felt the same way?”

“Why would he feel the same way? Look at me,” Timmy scoffed. “And no, I don’t even have his number. I gave him my address, but I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him again.”

“All you can do is wait and see, sweetie,” Nicole said, twisting a finger in one of Timmy’s curls. “If he feels the same way - which is not impossible, because you’re a very handsome young man - he might just change his mind and write to you and if that doesn’t happen, then there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.”

“I’m sorry for dumping this all on you, Momma,” Timmy said, leaning into the comforting touch of his mother’s hand.

“Nonsense,” she responded, shaking her head with a smile. “I’m going to get you some dry crackers, because you need to eat something. Drink your tea, love.”

Timmy watched his mother leave his room with a sigh and for the first time in three weeks, he felt light and carefree. He tugged the comforter up under his chin and closed his eyes. He was asleep before he could eat the crackers or drink his tea, but he was out cold for at least ten hours and it was exactly what he needed.

* * *

It was five weeks after the night he had spent with Armie, when Timmy came home from work to an envelope in his mailbox with a U.S. Marine Corps address on the back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any plans for the weekend? Did I ruin it with this chapter? :')


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the past two weeks, at least, Armie had found himself thinking about pizza and street food, about going out to a bar and getting shitfaced, about his friends back home and about growing his hair back out and wearing normal clothes. It’s what he fantasized most about during the day. At night, he found himself dreaming about green eyes and soft skin and it pissed him off like nothing ever had before. He couldn’t make sense of what he was feeling and that was new to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, the love and support I get for this story is so overwhelming and I can't appreciate you more! Thank you so much for being so sweet and kind, I'll try to update as soon as I can, but this story requires a lot of research and I want to do it right. Enjoy this one! ♥

Armie jumped down from the humvee he had been driving for the past four hours and groaned when his feet hit the hard ground. Desert dust blew up from the impact and he huffed in annoyance. He was sweating buckets and the sun hadn’t even gone down yet. The heat was supposed to get even worse over the next couple of days and he wasn’t looking forward to it. He wasn’t looking forward to the last five months of his mission in general.

They were about a month into the hundred and seventy-nine days of their mission and Armie couldn’t for the love of God remember why he had ever chosen to join the U.S. Marine Corps. Well, he hadn’t exactly chosen to join, but when his father had brought up that he had enlisted him, Armie had thought that it could be the right direction for him. To get out in the world and do something good; serve his country. The first few years hadn’t been bad at all. He had made some great friends and he had experienced more than many people his age. The downside of serving for so many years was that there was also lots of anger, hurt and injustice to deal with. Making friends for life didn’t feel as rewarding when it was just for the duration of their lives. He had been part of the corps for eleven years and Armie thought that he may have reached a point in his life where he was ready to make some changes. 

Armie and Nick had been assigned patrol duty that afternoon, after having worked at the base all morning. They had been happy to switch positions and drive around the area for a while, but Armie had had it with the heat and the dust and the confusing feelings tugging on the inside of his chest. He was hot, thirsty and grumpy. Because of that, Nick was more than a little done with his shit and hadn’t spoken to him for at least half an hour.

Nick’s constant chattering usually helped Armie get through the day. His friend was basically the only reason why he was able to pull himself together and get through the day. If he hadn’t had Nick, he probably wouldn’t have gotten on the plane in New York in the first place. Nick’s silence caused his mind to work over hours and with every minute he thought of home and everything he missed, his chest grew tighter and his mood plummeted.

For the past two weeks, at least, Armie had found himself thinking about pizza and street food, about going out to a bar and getting shitfaced, about his friends back home and about growing his hair back out and wearing normal clothes. It’s what he fantasized most about during the day. At night, he found himself dreaming about green eyes and soft skin and it pissed him off like nothing ever had before. He couldn’t make sense of what he was feeling and that was new to him.

Armie wasn’t a sensitive guy, at least not that he knew of. He was taught to be strong, confident and fearless. He couldn’t even remember the last time he cried, or the last time he cared so much about something that he could set everything else aside and focus solely on that particular thing. Sure, he loved his friends, but he had a tendency to befriend people who shared the same characteristics and so they weren’t very emotionally open to each other. 

With every restless night and every vivid dream of the guy he had been with before his departure he grew more annoyed. He couldn’t seem to figure out why he couldn’t get Timmy out of his head. The sex had been fantastic, but it wasn’t like there was anything special between them. He didn’t know anything about the guy, besides his name and address, so there shouldn’t even be a connection and yet, there was. It was as if there was some sort of magnetic field between them, but that made no sense, because there was over six thousand miles of distance between them and for all he knew, Timmy had completely forgotten about him. Did he want Timmy to remember him? Why was he even worrying about something like that, when there was no way that things could ever work out between them? He wasn’t even sure if he wanted there to be ‘things’ in the first place. Did this mean that he was ready to settle down in general?

Armie sighed and yanked his ballistic vest over his head as he made his way back to the tent. Once inside, he cleared away his equipment and rolled up the sleeves of his blouse, unbuttoning the first few buttons. 

“Okay, what the fuck is up with you?”

Nick stood beside their bunk bed with his arms crossed in front of his chest and his hip cocked. Armie raised a brow and shrugged.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, pulling out his bag from under his bed. He rummaged through its contents in search of a book that he was sure he had packed before he left. He looked up when he heard feet shuffling and hushed voices, only to see the few marines who had been chatting over by the lounge area leave the tent. Armie rolled his eyes. What the fuck were they doing fighting for their country, if they couldn’t even handle someone’s pissy mood? 

“Dude, you have been insufferable for the last two weeks and you weren’t exactly Little Miss Sunshine before that, either,” Nick told him, lowering himself onto Armie’s bed. “I’m your best friend, I worry about you.”

“Nick, it’s fucking nothing,” Armie snapped, finally pulling his book from his bag. “Let it go.” He unlaced his boots, took them off and swung his legs up on his mattress, getting comfortable with his back against his pillow.

“This. This is exactly what I mean. I’m not going to take your shit forever, Armie. We have five more months to go and if you can’t talk to me like a normal human being, you can do it without me.” Nick sent him an angry glare and Armie immediately regretted his words and the tone in which he had said them. There was no way in hell that he could do this without Nick’s support.

“I’m sorry, Niki,” he said, briefly squeezing Nick’s bicep.

Nick nodded, took off his boots and scooted back on the foot of Armie’s bed with his knees pulled up under his chin. “What’s wrong, man? I know this has been getting harder for you, but you’ve never seemed so out of it before.”

Armie threw his head back against the wall behind his bed and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and selected his words carefully, before he blurted them out. “I don’t fucking wanna do this anymore.”

“Yeah, I figured that much,” Nick snorted. “That’s not it, though. Something is bothering you. I can hear you tossing and turning at night.”

“Well, fuck,” Armie groaned. He scratched at the exposed part of his neck and grimaced. He should have showered before he had gotten comfortable.

“What is it, man?”

Armie weighed his options and their possible consequences. He could tell Nick about his ridiculous crush, if he could even call it a crush. He would probably feel relieved, but Nick would laugh in his face. He could also make up some bullshit story about getting old, but his best friend would never buy that. He thought twice about the first option. Would Nick, the person who knew him better than anyone in the world, really laugh in his face? He never had before and he’d had a lot to laugh about. They had been friends since high school and they had done some pretty ludicrous stuff together. _No,_ Armie eventually decided, _he would never laugh at me._

“This is gonna sound so weird, but… That guy? The one I was with the night before we left?” Nick nodded to confirm that he knew who he was talking about and Armie hesitated for a second longer, before he continued. “I can’t get him out of my head.”

“What do you mean?” Nick asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Armie shrugged. “He’s in my dreams, he pops up in my thoughts during the day, I wonder what he’s doing back in New York… It’s like I’m connected to him, but I’m not. He’s nothing, I don’t even know what he does for a living, and yet he’s everything.”

“Would you do him a second time?” his friend asked with a grin. Armie laughed and rubbed a hand over his face. There was sand stuck to his eyebrows and he pulled another face. He really should shower.

“Do you know how many pairs of boxers I’ve gone through?” he shot back in return and it was Nick’s turn to grimace this time.

“Gross,” he said, but then smiled. “That says a lot, though, man. You don’t do repeats. You like him.”

“I guess I do,” Armie nodded, feeling the pressure in his chest decrease. It felt good to figure out his feelings like this. As expected, Nick wasn’t judgemental at all. 

“Is there a way for you to contact him? Maybe you can get to know him a little, so you won’t feel completely lost when you see him again,” he suggested and Armie thought that was actually a good idea.

“I only have his address,” he said with a frown. Being out in the desert really sucked. Nick snapped his fingers and got up to stand on the edge of Armie’s bed. He held onto the frame of his top bunk and shoved his hand under his pillow, coming back with his sketch pad and a pencil. He threw both items at Armie and sat back down on the food of his friend’s bed.

“Use that and write him. There’s only one way to find out if he thinks about you too.”

Armie turned the sketch pad over in his hands and smiled, deciding that that wasn’t such a bad idea. He lightly punched his friend in the arm and nodded gratefully.

“Thanks, Niki,” he said. Nick shook his head and picked up Armie’s book, reading the back. He stretched out his legs and rested his back against the iron frame of the bottom bunk. They usually got together like this at the end of the day and Armie was glad that his little outburst and his confession hadn’t changed that. He reached for his bag again and pulled out a clean pair of underwear, a regular white T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. “I’m gonna go take a shower,” he announced. Nick merely hummed, already reading the first chapter of the book he had snatched. Armie shoved his feet into his slippers, which he had also retrieved from under his bed and picked his toiletry bag up from the little desk between his bunk and the one beside his, before he stood up and made his way to the exit of the tent.

The trailer was empty when Armie entered. Most of his fellow marines were still out on patrol or working the base and the ones who had already gotten back had probably taken a shower earlier or would do so after dinner. He took a clean towel from the rack against the wall and chose the shower stall all the way in the back. He closed the door behind him, hung up his clean clothes and his towel and set his toiletry bag on the small bench. 

When he had undressed, he turned on the shower and stepped under the hot spray, closing his eyes in relief. He could immediately feel the tension leaving his body, his muscles unclenching one by one. Armie enjoyed the warm water hitting his chest for a moment and then made quick work of washing his hair and face. He liked to take a bit more time to wash the rest of his body, making sure no dust or sand lingered in crevices. He took great pride in his personal hygiene, even on the job.

He lathered himself with his expensive wash gel and made sure that no part of him stayed untouched. He lingered when he dug his fingers into his chest hair, his mind wandering off into dangerous territory and before he was aware of it, he was thinking of soft skin and tiny nipples under his fingers, instead of his own fuzzy chest. He had loved the feeling of Timmy’s smooth chest beneath his palms as he slid inside him and took his own pleasure. Having just admitted out loud that he couldn’t stop thinking about the guy seemed to have eased his mind about it and he allowed himself to fantasize freely. He thought of Timmy’s little moans of pleasure, the way his body had shuddered when he had surrendered to Armie. He remembered the way Timmy’s ass had tightened around his cock, the way he had grabbed on to Armie’s neck when he was close to coming.

Armie suddenly found himself wondering what Timmy tasted like. If the tip of his cock was as smooth under his foreskin as Armie imagined. He wondered if the little strip of skin under the head would be as sensitive as it was for himself and if he could make Timmy come with just the tip of his tongue on it, teasing him slowly to the brink of his sanity. 

“Fuck,” Armie sighed, when his cock hardened between his thighs. The sexual cravings had become a daily occurrence over the last two weeks, even when he was unconscious. He’d been jerking it left and right and when he didn’t have the opportunity, he’d wake up in a sweat, his boxers soiled and his heart pounding in his ears. He hadn’t been this horny since college, but he had stopped beating himself up over it a while ago. So, he had a little bit of a crush on the guy. Big fucking deal.

Armie sighed and gave in to his need, letting his hand trail down over his body to where he was getting harder by the second. He teased the base of his cock for a moment, feeling himself twitch under his fingertips. He reached further down and squeezed his balls, feeling them draw up against his body. He hummed in pleasure and wrapped his hand around his cock, giving himself a slow tug. An electric wave of arousal made its way down his spine and settled in the pit of his stomach. Armie gasped and tightened his grip on himself. It was as if everything felt more intense, now that he had admitted his misery and his feelings for Timmy. He felt like he had _that_ night and he bit his lip to swallow a moan that threatened to come up. 

Knowing that dinner was likely going to be served within the next thirty minutes, Armie leaned back against the flimsy wall of the shower stall and sped up his strokes. He flicked his wrist every time his fist slid up over the swollen tip of his cock, stimulating the crown the way he liked it.

The long strokes from root to tip eventually made Armie throw his head back and close his eyes. He could feel his orgasm rapidly approaching and he imagined pushing his cock into Timmy’s mouth, the guy’s smooth tongue running up and down over his frenulum. He regretted not taking his time that night; regretted that they hadn’t indulged in a little oral. Armie was desperate to find out what it would feel like to have Timmy’s throat clench around the tip of his cock as he came down his throat.

“Shit shit shit shit,” Armie whispered, feeling his balls pulse and his stomach tighten. He shot forward, away from the wall he was leaning up against, and placed his hand on the wall opposite from him, supporting himself as the first wave of his orgasm hit him like a hurricane. Thick streaks of cum spurted across the floor and washed away with the water. Armie’s knees buckled and he had to spread his legs a little more to keep his balance. He kept stroking himself until he had nothing left to give and then slumped back against the wall behind him, panting heavily.

He gave himself a moment to regain his breath and when he felt more steady on his feet, he grabbed his wash gel again and lathered himself up one more time. He could hear the first call for dinner coming from outside the trailer and he suddenly realized that he was famished. He quickly rinsed and dried himself, put his clean clothes on and left the trailer, carrying his dirty uniform and his toiletries.

* * *

“You gonna write your boyfriend, Hammer?”

Armie sighed and rubbed the palm of his hand into his eye socket. He hadn’t even written down the first words, completely clueless about where to start, and already people were bothering him.

“Do you want me to make time for you first, Taylor? Do you need me to come shove my foot up your ass? Because I will, no problem,” he shot back.

The corporal laughed and held his hands up in surrender. “I’m good, thanks.”

Running a hand over his buzz cut, Armie bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from cursing. Someone had assumed that he had a boyfriend and he hadn’t even denied it. What the fuck was wrong with him? Timmy wasn’t even his boyfriend, he wasn’t anything at the moment. All he was, was the guy whom he was about to write a letter to. If he could ever figure out how to start, that is.

With a last deep sigh, he turned back to Nick’s sketch pad on the desk in front of him and lifted his pencil. _Here goes nothing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll read his heartfelt letter in the next chapter! ♥ Have a great weekend everyone, stay safe!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy grinned like a lovesick fool. Armie had actually written him two entire pages full of words. Words that gave him hope, after weeks of feeling confused about why he had feelings for a man he didn’t know. A man who had actually written him such a long letter that he had been forced to write the end of it on the back of the second page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have noooo idea how happy I am. The support on here is intense and it motivates me, even when I don't feel like moving at all. I love you, dudes ♥

“You won’t fucking believe thi-... Oh my God! You guys, ew!”

Timmy stepped back out into the corridor of his friends’ apartment and yanked the door shut behind him, his keys still in the lock. His eyes were wide as saucers and his mouth was hanging open in shock. 

“Goddamnit, Timmy,” he could hear from behind the door.

“We gave you a key for emergencies!” the other voice shouted and it only took a couple more seconds, before both women appeared in the doorway, looking only half decent.

“I wasn’t expecting to walk in on you fucking on the kitchen counter. It’s dinner time, for fucks sake!” Timmy shrieked, running a hand through his curls. He could feel his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“Well, to be fair, I was eating p-...”

“Florence!” Saoirse wrapped a hand over her girlfriend’s mouth and glared at her, shaking her head. “Don’t scar the boy.” Florence merely grinned behind her hand and shrugged. 

“Anyway,” Timmy said, trying to avoid getting deeper into this awkward situation. “This is an emergency.” He waved the envelope in the air and showed his friends the address on the back. Saoirse and Florence both gasped and tried to reach for it, but Timmy pressed it against his chest and shook his head. “Go wash your hands first. Lord only knows where they’ve been.”

“Come in, baby,” Saoirse said, holding the door open for Timmy. “Give us a few minutes to get proper and we’ll sit down for this.”

“Help yourself to a drink,” Florence offered, pointing to the fridge as Timmy followed the girls inside.

“I am not coming anywhere near that counter,” Timmy answered with a shudder. He went over to the couch and sat down, toeing off his shoes, before pulling his feet up and under his butt. He opened the envelope and took out the pages for the second time that day. He smiled at the beautiful handwriting and felt his heart skip a beat.

Armie had actually reached out.

He read the two pages of the letter again with a goofy glimmer in his eyes, as he waited for his friends to get themselves together.

> [ ](https://ibb.co/fdgpJXH)

> [ ](https://ibb.co/Krv5FD6)

> [ ](https://ibb.co/F3j1vRn)

> _Timmy,_
> 
> _This was probably the last thing you expected from me, after I left like I did. You have every right to stop reading here and throw the damn letter in the trash, because I was an asshole and you definitely didn’t deserve that. I hope you keep reading, though, because I have something to tell you._
> 
> _I need you to know that I had absolutely no intention of ever reaching out to you again, so this is very out of character for me. I wasn’t interested in anything more than a one time thing, I haven’t been in years and I left your place thinking that that was all it would be. A one night stand, however amazing it may have been. I’m not the relationship kind of guy and I hadn’t expected that to change. Ever._
> 
> _I am a month into my mission in Afghanistan and for the past two weeks I haven’t been able to sleep or eat properly. And frankly, it is all your fault. I find myself thinking of you during the day. I dream about you when I do sleep. I wonder what you’re doing and I beat myself up over how I treated you. Mostly, I regret what has happened between us._
> 
> _There is something that draws me to you, Timothée Chalamet (why the fancy name?) and I can’t explain what it is, but had I known that I would have felt this conflicted afterwards, I never would have gone home with you. Instead, I would have tried to get to know you better first. Maybe I would even have taken you out on a date or two, just to see if what I think is there is actually there between us._
> 
> _You probably think I’m crazy, especially after I literally just wrote that I’m not the relationship kind of guy. You know what? It is crazy. We’re more than 6000 miles apart and yet there is this magnetic force between me and the memory of you. You fucked me up, you made me question who I am and what I want in life and I’m not sure I mind all that much._
> 
> _I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I’m extremely sorry for leaving like that. I hope you can forgive me and that you write me back, because I would really like to get to know you and see you again when I’m back home. I put the address on the back of the envelope, just in case._
> 
> _I really hope to hear back from you, Timmy._
> 
> _Armie._

Timmy grinned like a lovesick fool. Armie had actually written him two entire pages full of words. Words that gave him hope, after weeks of feeling confused about why he had feelings for a man he didn’t know. A man who had actually written him such a long letter that he had been forced to write the end of it on the back of the second page.

When he had first found the letter in his mailbox, he had freaked out all the way up to the fourth floor and had still been shaking when he had sat down on the couch. It had taken him a pep talk - spoken into the air of the empty living room - and a few deep breaths, before he had dared to open the envelope. The first thing that caught his eye was Armie’s beautiful handwriting. It looked like it was typed up in some kind of fancy font that could have been used in advertisements or magazines. The man swirled his T’s and I’s and wrote in italics. Timmy couldn’t help but notice that the paragraphs were all a little crooked, though, and he wondered if Armie had been shifting in his seat while writing it. Or had the man perhaps written it while lying down on his bed? He had thought about Armie’s current living situations a lot over the past few weeks. Were they sleeping in tents, or would facilities over there be a little more luxurious by now? Was he able to shower? Go to the bathroom? He had so many questions to ask and it seemed like whoever was up there was on his side, because now he’d actually get a chance. He could write Armie back.

“Okay, show us,” Florence demanded when she treaded back into the living room, Saoirse hot on her heels. The latter girl’s cheeks were flushed and her hair was messy, but Timmy didn’t comment on it. He didn’t want to know.

“He actually fucking wrote me,” he said with a giddy smile. Florence mockingly rolled her eyes and Saoirse pinched the bridge of her nose, hiding her smile behind the palm of her hand.

“Yeah, we got that much, Timmy,” Saoirse said. “Give me that.” She sat down on the coffee table across from Timmy and snatched the letter from his hands. She turned the two sheets of paper over and raised an eyebrow as if to say “Geez, he really went for it.” Timmy blushed and looked down at his lap. Anxiously awaiting the girls’ reaction, he started picking his nails and the small callus on the inside of his palm where the ring on his index finger created friction. It was a simple silver band and it had scratches here and there from years of wearing it, but he refused to take it off. Pauline wore a similar one. She had purchased the set for Timmy’s 16th birthday and had threatened to twist his ear off if he ever took it off. It was a symbol of their bond and the gesture had temporarily rendered him speechless. They got on each other’s cases most of the time, but he loved Paulie.

“Tim,” Florence eventually broke the silence between them, being the first one to finish reading the letter. “He’s actually super sweet,” she said. Saoirse nodded her agreement.

“Yeah, unapologetically honest, but very sweet.”

“I know,” Timmy sighed in despair. “So what do I do now?”

“Are you shitting me?” Saoirse shrieked, throwing the letter back in his lap. She pinched the bridge of her nose and then started to count on her fingers as she spoke. “First, you go home. Then, you’re gonna have dinner, so that you can think about what you’re gonna write back-”

“And then you actually write him back,” Florence finished for her.

Timmy groaned and threw his head back against the couch. “But what the fuck do I write?”

“Timothée, I know for a fact that you’re not this dense,” Saoirse scoffed. She leaned in and flicked his nose. Timmy jerked his head back down and grabbed at his nose, but he didn’t look at his friend. Somewhere deep down he knew that she was right and that he was probably being a little bit of a drama queen, but this guy actually made him nervous and he was scared of writing the wrong thing. He didn’t want to fuck up what could potentially be a good thing - what he wanted to be a good thing.

“I’m nervous,” he admitted and Saoirse’s face softened. She wasn’t actually angry or annoyed, but Timmy knew when she wanted him to think for a second. She could come off stern and determined. She could, however, also easily melt at his feet as soon as he opened up.

“Just be honest with him, sweetie,” she said, reaching out to pick up his hand and squeeze his fingers in hers. “Tell him that you’ve been thinking about him and that you enjoyed your night with him. You want to get to know this guy, right?” Timmy nodded. “So, why don’t you ask him a couple of questions? About his mission, about his life here in New York, about his family. Just the basics, you know? You need to establish some sort of connection before you can actually determine if you want to be with him when he returns.”

“But don’t be too greedy,” Florence said, holding up a warning finger. “Play a little hard to get. Act casual, make him want you. Although, I don’t see how he could possibly not want you, considering… well…” She pointedly looked him up and down and Timmy had the decency to blush.

“Yeah, I’ll… Yeah, okay. I can do this, I think,” he said, nodding hesitatingly.

“We’re proud of you,” Saoirse said, smiling softly. “Now, go home and write. I have some unfinished business with my wifey.”

“Oh God, ew,” Timmy groaned, jumping up from the couch. He folded the pages of Armie’s letter, put them back in the envelope and rushed back to the front door of his best friends’ tiny apartment. “Talk to you tomorrow,” he shouted, but the only response he got were a few giggles and the sound of mouths meeting. He shuddered and hurried back home.

* * *

> _Dear Armie,_

Timmy scoffed and crumpled up his paper. Dear Armie? Who even started a letter like that nowadays? Florence had told him to play a little hard to get. How was starting a letter with ‘Dear’ playing hard to get? Armie would immediately catch on to his infatuation. He shook his head and grabbed a new blank paper.

> _Hi Armie,_
> 
> _I’m really happy to hear from you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and about how you’re doing over there. Is it dangerous? Do you have access to running water and decent food? Are you_

“God, fuck, Jesus, no,” Timmy mumbled, angrily tearing up the paper. That was so far from playing hard to get, he could just as easily send a picture of his ass and it would send the same message. “Idiot.”

He picked up his phone from where he had thrown it onto the coffee table in front of him and opened the chat with his mother.

**Timothée**  
_Sooooo… Armie sent me a letter and now I don’t know how to respond. I don’t wanna sound too eager, but… uhg. Want him. Help me, mama?_

**Mom**  
_Armie wrote you a letter?!?!_

**Timothée**  
_Yeah, got it delivered by a carrier pigeon and everything. Mom, please? What do I do?_

**Mom**  
_Have you talked to the girls yet?_

**Timothée**  
_Yep. Be honest, play hard to get, ask questions. But… Hoooow?_

**Mom**  
_I can actually hear you whining in my head. It sounds like they gave you some solid advice, sweetheart. Just be yourself, you’re a catch._

**Timothée**  
_You’re supposed to say that, you’re my mother._

**Mom**  
_I mean it, Tim. You’re a smart guy with a pretty face. You have nothing to be insecure about and you have nothing to lose._

**Timothée**  
_Just a pretty face? Some mother you are._

**Mom**  
_Don’t start with me, young man. You know your worth. I love you._

**Timothée**  
_Fine, I’ll be myself. Love you too, mama._

Timmy threw his phone next to him on the couch and ran both of his hands through his hair. He groaned in frustration and stared at the paper in front of him, wishing for a perfectly written response to Armie’s letter to just appear on the page. Why was he so bad with words? He had no idea how to play hard to get. Hell, he had melted under Armie’s gaze the first time their eyes had met. He was truly a lost cause and he wasn’t sure if playing hard to get was going to do anything good. He just had no idea of how to be casual with this Greek God of a man.

He picked up his pen and stuck the back of it between his teeth, twirling it around as he thought about the advice that had been given to him, both by his friends and by his mother. Playing hard to get was not an option, he was also pretty sure that he was going to sound eager anyway, but there was one thing he definitely could do: be himself. With a grin on his lips and a blush on his cheeks, he put pencil to paper and went to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: A deliriously happy Armie ♥ Stay safe, loves!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, so,” Nick broke the silence and then paused for a moment, before he finished his question, but he wasn’t looking at Armie this time, “What if he never writes you back?”
> 
> “Then we’re going to have to buy two crates of beer when we get home and drink it all in one go, so I can forget all about him,” Armie huffed, but then he wiped at his eyebrows and scrunched up his nose. “I would probably still pay him a visit, though. I’d want to know why.”
> 
> “Yeah,” Nick sighed, “He looked like a nice guy. He’ll contact you, one way or another.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry that this took so long! This is the only story I'm working on at the moment, so I'm going to try to update faster! I really hope you'll still enjoy, tho! All your support warms my heart and really motivates me to keep going, so thank you so so much! ♥

“So,” Nick whispered cautiously from where he was lying on his stomach on the hard, dusty desert ground, “Have you heard back from him yet?”

“No,” Armie quietly answered, his finger on the trigger of his M27 automatic rifle, “Sergeant Garcia said we’ve been having problems with mail coming in, though, so I’m not worried.”

“You _so_ are worried, don’t fucking try to fool me,” Nick scoffed, kicking Armie’s shin with the nose of his boot.

Armie glared at him, briefly taking his eyes off the sight of his rifle. They only had one hour left before the sun came up and their night patrol shift was over. It had been an easy night so far, nothing out of the ordinary happening and no strange sightings in the area. Armie’s eyes were burning with sleep and his stomach was growling. He was definitely ready to crash for a few hours, but the thought of breakfast kept him alert enough to finish his job. Breakfast and the possible mail delivery.

Okay, so Armie was worried. Big deal.

“It’s only been like, what? Three weeks?” Armie shrugged and went back to studying the dark space in front of them.

“Four, actually,” Nick said, wiping some of the dust from his face, “Do you think he wrote you back at all?”

“Jesus fuck, how would I know?” Armie hissed, dropping his forehead to the grip of his rifle.

“Okay, no need to get testy again.” Nick nudged Armie’s shoulder with his own and headbutted him as a friendly gesture, his helmet clunking against Armie’s. They shared a small smile.

“Let’s just finish this thing that we’re doing here and go back to camp. I’m starved and tired and I really just wanna zone out for a few hours,” Armie said, checking his watch, “God, these last two months have felt like two fucking years.”

“Tell me about it,” Nick sighed, adjusting his position, “This is gonna be my last, you know? I’m done after this.”

“Yeah?” Armie’s smile widened and he looked down at his dirty, scabbed hands. He couldn’t wait to go back home, take some time off and figure out what to do with his life. Because this was his last mission, too. That much was certain.

“For sure. I’m so done, dude. I want to settle down,” Nick chuckled at his own words. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually want to settle down. I’m just so tired, you know? Compared to this, every other job seems like a piece of cake.”

“You can say that again.” Armie rolled his eyes and turned to face his best friend. “We could go back to school. To college, I mean,” he suggested with a feigned indifferent shrug, but he could feel himself getting excited at the mere thought of the possibilities.

“Yeah?” Nick grinned and tugged on the strap of his helmet.

“Just you and me, dude,” Armie said. They bumped fists, a silent agreement to make the arrangements as soon as they got back home.

They looked back out into the desert for a few minutes. Armie could hear the sound of a plane somewhere in the distance, but he didn’t pay much attention to it. He was able to distinguish the sound of danger and enemies by now and this wasn’t either of those things. The silence was almost deafening. He couldn’t wait to go back to New York - back to the sound of cars in the streets, people having fun, music being played in whatever building he passed.

“Hey, so,” Nick broke the silence and then paused for a moment, before he finished his question, but he wasn’t looking at Armie this time, “What if he never writes you back?”

“Then we’re going to have to buy two crates of beer when we get home and drink it all in one go, so I can forget all about him,” Armie huffed, but then he wiped at his eyebrows and scrunched up his nose. “I would probably still pay him a visit, though. I’d want to know why.”

“Yeah,” Nick sighed, “He looked like a nice guy. He’ll contact you, one way or another.”

Armie nodded, hoping to God that that was true. He had never wanted anything more in his entire life.

* * *

“Just in time, Marines,” Sergeant Garcia said when Armie and Nick arrived back at camp, dirty, hungry and exhausted. The man was already fully dressed and loading a humvee with equipment, a few Corporals walking back and forth between vehicles to help and get the job done faster.

“In time for what?” Nick frowned and took off his protective gear. “Food?”

“Breakfast is at 6:30AM as usual, Delli Santi,” Sergeant Garcia said, pointedly raising an eyebrow. Nick shrugged and rubbed his stomach.

“What are we in time for then, Sir?” Armie dared to ask, dreading the answer. If the man was going to tell them that their next job was waiting for them, he might just burst out into tears. 

“The Internet is up and running and we finally had some mail coming in this morning. Delivery just left,” he said, groaning a little when he lifted an especially heavy equipment box, “There’s a thick envelope on your bed.”

Armie’s heart sped up and he rushed into the tent without another word, Nick hot on his heels. Sure enough, there was a thick, stark white envelope on his mattress, his name and the address of Camp Dwyer on the front in boyish handwriting. He picked it up and was about to tear it open, when a lump in his throat made him hesitate in his excitement. He turned to Nick and worried his bottom lip between his teeth. Nick rolled his eyes and bent down to take off his boots.

“Open it, open it now,” he told Armie. He didn’t even look up at him, but Armie could tell that he meant business. He instantly felt a bit guilty. He hadn’t exactly been vocal about his infatuation for the guy he had spent only one night with, not after Nick had pulled the truth from him. However, he had been snappy and easily annoyed, and he knew that his friend had noticed, even though he hadn’t said anything. Nick knew him better than anyone.

He was about to sit down on his bed, the letter still in his hand, when he noticed the heavy gear around his torso and remembered that he hadn’t even put away his rifle yet. He set the letter down on his pillow and quickly stripped to his trousers and tank top, before he flopped down onto his mattress and finally opened the envelope. The first thing he noticed was the little drawing in the upper right corner of the paper - three tiny music notes with smileys on them. His stomach fluttered and he quickly started reading, eager to find out more about Timmy.

> _Hi Armie,_
> 
> _As I was thinking about what I should write back to you without making myself sound like a total idiot, I started doodling and when I realized what I was doing, I thought that I might have to get another (yes, another) blank paper. But then I thought that you might appreciate my little music notes. I’m not even sure if you have music over there. Do you?_
> 
> _Anyway, I have to admit that when I first got your letter, I freaked out a little. Okay, I freaked out a lot. I hadn’t expected for you to contact me at all, although I had secretly hoped you would change your mind. And then your letter was super sweet and honest and I just… Armie, I had no idea what to write you back. I still don’t, to be completely honest, which is why I’m rambling like an idiot. I’m awkward and I’m shy and I’ve never really felt this way before for anyone. Which is weird, because I don’t know you at all. We barely exchanged two words before you left. All I know about you is that you’re insanely attractive and that you took my sanity with you when you left that day. (This is disgustingly sappy, isn’t it?)_
> 
> _So, as I was freaking out, I went to see my friends (which almost scarred me for life, mind you) and asked them for advice. They told me to not be so eager and play hard to get, but who the fuck am I kidding, right? You’ve already had me and I would not be against a repeat, so whatever. Let me be eager. Then, when I sat down to write this letter (are you annoyed by my rambling yet? I figured you’d like the distraction…) I texted my mom and she basically told me to be myself, because apparently I’m a catch and I have nothing to lose. That last part is true, I guess, but I really want to do this right, because I have not been able to stop thinking about you._
> 
> _How is your mission going? What is it exactly that you do over there? Are you always working or do you have moments to yourself? I guess you do, because you were able to sit down and write me. But then again, maybe you did that at night, when you were supposed to sleep. Do you sleep okay? How are your living arrangements? Are you able to distract yourself from it all sometimes? Like, can you do other activities?_
> 
> _I just read that last part (even I’m rolling my eyes at my dumb questions, so don’t feel guilty if you do too) and I realize that none of those questions will tell me anything about you as a person and that maybe you don’t even want to answer those. Let me start over._
> 
> _How long have you been living in New York? Or were you born here? Do you have siblings? Do you have pets? What did you do before you went to join the Marine Corps? What made you want to join? Do you have a good relationship with your parents? What’s your favorite food? Do you like watching movies? Would you ever go skinny dipping?_
> 
> _Jesus, you must think I’m crazy now, but you know what? I’m going to put on my big boy pants and put all of these pages in an envelope, because I really want to get to know you, Armie. I can’t wait to hear back from you. If you still want to talk to me after this interrogation, that is. I promise it’s not meant that way, I’m just really excited. Told you I’m awkward._
> 
> _Please be careful and stay safe._
> 
> _Love, Timmy. (My full name is fancy, because my dad is French. It’s actually Timothée Hal Chalamet, but don’t you ever dare call me that. ‘Kay, bye!)_

“Haven’t seen those fangs in a while.”

Armie looked up from the stack of papers and frowned at his best friend, who was now sitting on the foot of his bed, equally clothed in his trousers and tank top. “What?”

Nick snorted and dug his toes into the side of Armie’s thigh. “You’re smiling like a lovesick fool. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“He’s…” Armie sighed happily. “Nick, he’s so cute. He’s rambling and he’s weird and he’s asking a million questions and it just makes him… so cute.”

“Oh, this is disgusting,” Nick chuckled, but Armie knew he meant no harm and pinched his ankle in return.

“Who told me that he wanted to settle down just about an hour ago? Oh, right, I believe that was you.” Armie shoved Timmy’s multiple written pages back into the envelope and grinned at his friend. “Asshole.”

“Would you? Settle down for this guy, I mean.”

Armie thought about that question for a moment. Aside from making a career switch, he had never really given his lifestyle much thought. He had always been quite content on his own. He didn’t have to justify himself to anyone, because he had never had the desire to share his life with anyone before. Was he ready to change that? And was Timmy the person he was going to change that for?

“I don’t know, man,” he eventually said, turning the envelope over in his hands. “All I know about him is that he’s cute and that his ass is tight. That’s not enough to base a relationship on.”

“So you reckon that you do want a relationship?” Nick’s grin was pure evil this time and Armie punched him in the shoulder, causing the man to burst out into laughter.

“I don’t know! Stop being a dick,” Armie laughed.

“Seriously, though,” Nick rubbed his shoulder and bit his lip to stop laughing. “Get to know him. I know you well enough to tell you that you obviously want to and if this guy turns out to be _your_ guy, I’d be nothing but happy for you.”

“You’re the best, Niki.” Armie briefly squeezed the man’s calf, before he stuffed the envelope under his pillow. “I’m gonna get breakfast and then I’m gonna see if I can get some sleep. You coming?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m starving,” Nick said. They both went to grab their slippers from under Armie’s bed and made their way to the main trailer, where breakfast was just being served. It wasn’t very luxurious, but it was food and they were used to it by now. As Armie grabbed a few slices of bread, he couldn’t help but yearn for a cream cheese bagel and a blueberry muffin. _Four more months,_ he kept telling himself. Maybe he could even take Timmy out for breakfast one day. The thought made his stomach flutter and he had to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling like the lovesick fool Nick had declared him to be.

“Hey,” his friend suddenly said, tapping his arm to get his attention. “Maybe you can put a picture of yourself with your next letter. So that he won’t forget your ugly face.”

“Shut up, you know I’m gorgeous,” Armie shot back, but he considered the idea. He knew he had a recent picture of himself and Nick somewhere in his bag, taken on their mission from last year. He always carried a couple of pictures around on his mission, because he liked to look at them and remind himself why he was doing this. He could cut Nick off and send the picture of himself to Timmy.

Nick poured them both a cup of coffee and Armie gratefully took one. He temporarily pushed aside the thought of Timmy and their written exchange, focusing on his breakfast instead.

* * *

Five hours later, Armie sat down at the desk again, well rested from a few hours of sleep and refreshed from a luke-warm shower. He had found the picture of him and Nick on the bottom of his bag and, with Nick’s permission, had torn it in half. Armie remembered the moment it was taken and smiled at the memory.

The mission they had been on was a shorter one, but no less exhausting. They had come back from patrol duty that day, absolutely filthy with dust and sweat. The picture was taken after they had taken a shower and flopped down on Armie’s bed to play a few hands of cards. They were both dressed in shorts and tank tops. Nick was sitting indian style on the foot of the bed, while Armie had propped up his pillow against the wall of the trailer they had housed in and had his legs stretched out on the mattress, his feet resting next to Nick’s hips. They were both smiling into the camera, the picture taken by a fellow marine. Armie remembered the guy - big and bulky, but incredibly sweet. He hated that he had been one of the unfortunate men who hadn’t been able to make it home alive.

Armie cleared his throat and put his half of the torn picture in the envelope he had been able to snatch from the small post office. He took Timmy’s letter out of its envelope and laid it out next to him, so that he could answer all of the guy’s questions. Because he was, he’d decided. He was going to answer every one of them truthfully and give Timmy a chance.

As he pictured sparkling green eyes and beautifully soft skin, he smiled and picked up Nick’s sketch pad, flipping through it until he found an empty page. He didn’t have to think about what he was going to write this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think ♥ Stay safe and for all my readers from the US, I'm keeping my fingers crossed today! ♥


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was now standing in the middle of his living room, the envelope and a few folded pages on his kitchen table. The picture had been the first thing to fall out of the envelope when he had held it upside down in his haste and it was the only thing that had his attention at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has gotten so much love and I'm so grateful to you all! ♥ I am actively writing on it and I now know that it's probably going to be somewhere between 12 and 15 chapters long. I hope you enjoy a little one sided pleasure for Timmy for now! ♥

“Holy… Shit.”

Timothée stared at the picture in his hand, palming himself through his jeans with the other. He wasn’t a very raunchy person in general, but he did like his release from time to time. Today was apparently one of those days. He’d been a little pent up all day, his mind wandering into dirty territory, even during work. When he had come home, he had quickly checked his mailbox. He had had the intention to race up those four flights of stairs to his apartment and masturbate until he felt better, but the envelope with the address of Camp Dwyer on the back had stopped him in his tracks.

He was now standing in the middle of his living room, the envelope and a few folded pages on his kitchen table. The picture had been the first thing to fall out of the envelope when he had held it upside down in his haste and it was the only thing that had his attention at the moment.

“Fuck _me_ ,” he whispered, stroking his thumb over the glossy paper where Armie’s chest was displayed. The man was truly gorgeous, his skin tanned, his muscles prominently visible under the fabric of the tight, white tank top he was wearing and his eyes a sparkling blue. What fascinated Timmy most was the bright white smile on the man’s face. He hadn’t looked all that happy when Timmy had met him and although Armie was hot when he was turned on and ready to pounce, Timmy found himself enchanted by the joy on his face.

“Yeah, fuck this.” He left the letter where it was, deciding that it could wait until he was satisfied. As he strode towards his bedroom, he tried to yank off his shirt, picture still in hand. He managed to undo himself from his shirt and one sock, before he stepped over the threshold of his bedroom. He quickly slipped out of the rest of his clothes and hopped up onto his bed, sprawling on his back in all his naked glory. He set the picture on his nightstand, propping it up against the foot of his table lamp, before he opened the top drawer and retrieved his bottle of lube and his black prostate vibrator. The device was lightly ribbed down the shaft and had a curved tip for optimal stimulation. The sight of the toy between his pale fingers sent a shiver down his spine and for a moment he felt absolutely ridiculous. He was about to fuck himself to a picture of a guy he had only met once and didn’t even really know. Hell, his second letter was in the living room and he had abandoned it in favor of an orgasm. _Or two, maybe,_ Timmy thought.

He rolled his eyes and shook off any lingering hesitation. Armie wasn’t there; he couldn’t see him and even if he could, Timmy doubted that the man would mind having a peek of what he was about to do.

Pressing the button on one end of the toy in his hand, Timmy checked if the thing was still working. He hadn’t used it in a while, as his work had taken up almost all of his time and he just hadn’t been in the mood. It started vibrating against his palm and he whimpered pathetically, eager to feel that buzz inside him. He quickly turned it off and uncapped the lube, making sure the toy was nice and slick, before he threw the bottle aside and turned over on his side, pulling his top leg up and pressing his knee into the mattress for leverage. His finger, still slick with remnants of lube, found its way between his cheeks and Timmy smeared it around his rim. He pushed the tip of his finger just past the first ring of muscle and wiggled it around for a moment. He only made sure he was just wet enough for it not to hurt and then pulled his finger back, wanting to feel the sting of the intrusion more than anything. It had been two and a half months since his night with Armie and aside from a quick jerk in the shower every now and then, Timmy hadn’t seen any action. He _wanted_ it.

He wiped his hand on the bed, knowing he was going to have to change his bedsheets anyway, and took the vibrator in his right hand. He stuffed his left hand under the pillow he was pressing his face into and carefully pressed the tip of the toy against his opening. With his bottom lip between his teeth, Timmy took a deep breath and as soon as he exhaled, he gave pressure and felt his hole open up around the toy. It slipped in until past the curved tip and he didn’t stop until it was all the way in, pressing against the spot that was likely going to turn him into a puddle of relief in a matter of seconds. Seconds, because the thought of Armie watching him do this already had him teetering towards the edge.

“Fuuuuck,” he groaned, shifting his hips a little. His rock hard cock rubbed up against the mattress, which pushed his foreskin back and exposed his sensitive glans. Timmy keened and eagerly rolled his hips, soaking the sheet beneath him with precum that had gathered in his slit.

With a deep, shaky breath he pressed on the button at the end of the vibrator. The thing started buzzing away inside him immediately and Timmy panted heavily into his pillow. He pulled the toy out a few inches and then shoved it back in again, roughly and uncoordinated. The tip rubbed up into his prostate, making his legs shake and his abdominal muscles quiver with unresolved tension. 

He glanced over at his nightstand, looked at Armie’s handsome smile and the part of his chest that wasn’t covered by his tank top. He desperately wanted to feel the man’s chest hair against his back again, or maybe even against his front. He wanted to wrap his legs around his small waist, impale himself on Armie’s thick cock and… kiss him. God, he wanted to kiss him. 

Timmy started thrusting his hips back and forth; into the mattress and back against the intrusion of the toy inside him. He could feel the telltale signs of his impending orgasm in the pit of his stomach. His toes curled and his cock leaped against the bed, spurting a thick string of clear precum. 

“Oh, fuck fuck fuck fuck,” he chanted, pushing and pulling on the vibrator faster, angling it upwards. His mouth fell open into a silent scream as his stomach tightened. The first wave of release hit him like a hurricane and with his eyes glued on Armie’s picture, he slipped over the edge and into his orgasm. His cum formed a big, pearly white puddle under the head of his cock, where it was pressing into the mattress. With the tip of the toy pressed firmly into his spot, he rode out his pleasure until he had absolutely nothing left to give, before he slumped forward onto his bed. He couldn’t even care that he was lying in his own spunk, he was that sated. He chuckled through a few aftershocks, turned off the vibrator and pulled it out, feeling more than a little relieved after the day he’d had.

As he recovered, he couldn’t help but think of Armie and what he was doing all the way on the other side of the world. It was nine hours and thirty minutes later in Afghanistan, so he was most likely just getting up. Or had he been on night patrol and was he just getting into bed? Timmy sighed, suddenly feeling eager to go back into the living room to read Armie’s letter. 

He pushed himself up on quivering arms, got up from his bed and made his way to the bathroom, toy in hand.

* * *

Later, after a shower - where he had jerked himself towards a second orgasm - and after changing his bedsheets, Timmy sat down at the kitchen table, a smile on his face and Armie’s letter in his hands. The picture Armie had sent him lay in front of him on the table and as impatient as Timmy was to read the letter, he couldn’t help but stare at Armie’s handsome face every few seconds. The butterflies he had felt when he had first laid eyes on Armie flared in his stomach and he knew that he was royally fucked, whatever the letter might have said. He was head over heels for this man he had yet to get to know. 

With a lump in his throat and his heart thumping loudly in his chest, Timmy finally turned to the letter and started reading.

> _Timmy Tim,_
> 
> _Yes, I totally took the privilege to give you a nickname. I acknowledge that that might be awfully strange, but I can’t call you ‘baby’ yet, right? We haven’t even properly met yet! Lol. Is it obvious that I’m a little giddy when it comes to you? I really like you and since you’ve been honest enough to tell me that the feeling is mutual, I thought you wouldn’t mind if I tried to be cute to you (is it working?). I promise I won’t call you by your full name (although I am really curious if I’m pronouncing it right in my head), so I’ll stick to Timmy Tim. Unless you prefer ‘baby’._
> 
> _I loved your little music notes! We do have music over here, or at least I do. I always update my old iPod with the music I currently listen to before I leave, so I’m able to kick back and nod along from time to time. Are you one of those people who dance and sing along as loud as you can, but only within the safe four walls of your home? I think you are, I can picture it._
> 
> _I’m sorry I freaked you out with my letter. I realize that it may have come as a complete surprise, after I behaved like such an asshole. I hope you can forgive me for that. And please don’t worry about what you should write me and how you come across. You’re not an idiot and it’s not awkward at all. I like your honesty and how shy you are, but I have to warn you, though: it does make me want to cuddle you a little. Maybe dinner first, huh? Until then, I will take good care of your sanity, haha!_
> 
> _Why did your friends almost scar you for life? Did you walk in on them having sex? You should always knock when you visit lesbians, Timmy. They go at it harder than us gays do, it’s remarkable. Lesson learned, right? I have to be honest with you, they gave you shit advice. Playing hard to get wouldn’t have worked with me, because I know what I want. I would have come get you as soon as I got home from my mission. Which I still plan on doing. I might be more eager than you are. Your mom is the real winner here! Please always be yourself with me, even if that means you’re rambling (which I don’t mind at all)._
> 
> _My mission is going smoothly so far. No real problems yet, other than the mail coming in slow as fuck. But, they finally managed to get the internet up and running! So, if you want, you can email me your next response. adhammer86@gmail.com_
> 
> _I can’t talk too much about what we do, but we basically just work with the Afghan security forces to patrol the Helmand River Valley. It’s dangerous work, but it keeps me on my toes. We work pretty much non-stop, but we work in shifts, so I do get to work at the base too. The moments I get to myself are the few minutes before I go to bed and the precious few weekly hours we’re granted with to work out. Yes, we do have a gym, sort of. I do sleep okay, all things considered. We have bunk beds and there’s about twenty other guys in the unit (who all snore, btw), but I’m used to it by now. There’s not much to do around here, except work out and write loved ones, but Nick always brings cards, so we usually pester each other with games. He’s my best friend, I wouldn’t have been able to endure this shit without him._
> 
> _I really don’t mind answering any of your questions, Timmy! You can ask me anything and I may not be able to give you a very extended answer to some of them, but please don’t feel silly. I understand the curiosity and I can’t wait to tell you all about it in person._
> 
> _I was born in Los Angeles, grew up there too, but I left for New York about ten years ago. I have a brother, but I barely speak to him. He still lives in Los Angeles and is planning to take over my father’s business. My parents and I aren’t very close, but as long as I’m doing something to make a difference in the world, they’ll be happy and I won’t have to hear from them all that often. I have a dog, his name is Archie and he’s stinking cute. He stays with Nick’s parents when we’re gone. I didn’t do much before I went to join the Marine Corps. I had just graduated high school and I wanted to go to college to become a graphic designer, but my father didn’t agree, so he signed me up for this. Needless to say, I did not go out of free will, but it’s work and it’s been fulfilling. I’ve decided that this is my last mission, though. As soon as I get home, I’m gonna resign, apply at colleges and do something I truly love._
> 
> _My hand hurts, Timmy! Okay, last few questions. My favorite food is a big, juicy steak with fries, I absolutely love watching movies and yes, I would definitely go skinny dipping. Have you done that before? Wanna join me?_
> 
> _I can’t wait to see what you look like in those big boy pants. I regret not taking a closer look when we were together, but we’re going to make up for that soon, right? I’ve only got four months left. I promise I’ll make up for my asshole behavior and treat you right. You can come meet Archie! We’ll go to dinners and see movies and we’ll go skinny dipping. Anything you want, okay?_
> 
> _Nick says hi, btw. He thinks I’m an idiot for ‘smiling like a lovesick fool’. His words, not mine. He also told me to send you a picture. I hope you don’t think that’s weird. Use my email address whenever you want, okay? It’s way easier than this and I’ll be able to answer you faster._
> 
> _Okay, later! Take good care of yourself until I can do that for you._
> 
> _Love, Armie._

Timmy’s cheeks actually hurt from smiling and he put the letter down on the table. Armie really was just as eager as he was and it felt thrilling to know that someone was interested in him; that someone wanted to take him out on dates and put effort into getting to know him. He hadn’t felt truly wanted in a very long time, if ever, and he couldn’t wait to do all those things with Armie. To go out for dinner, or maybe even cook a nice meal at home, and watch movies as he reclined back against Armie’s chest. He closed his eyes and imagined feeling those strong arms around him, the way they had felt when they had held him up as he shuddered through that mind blowing orgasm Armie had given him. Imagined Armie’s lips on his; how they might trail down over his jaw, only to settle on his neck and _suck._ A shiver ran up and down his spine and he bit his lip to suppress a grin, knowing that those dreams might come true in a couple of months. He couldn’t wait.

He was startled back to reality when his phone buzzed on the kitchen counter, where he had left it when he’d gotten home from work. He got up to retrieve it and unlocked his screen. He swiped his thumb down over his screen to see who had messaged him and smiled at the question that popped up.

**Mom**  
_Have you had dinner yet?_

His stomach rumbled at the mention of food like some sort of Pavlovian response and he suddenly became aware of how hungry he actually was. He hadn’t eaten anything since lunch and his mind hadn’t even registered anything else, once he’d spotted Armie’s picture. He had been so absorbed by his need to get off that he hadn’t even thought of checking to see if he had anything in the fridge to make dinner with. He quickly thumbed back a reply to his mother.

**Timothée**  
_Noooo, I’m so hungry, mama._

**Mom**  
_God, you’re such a baby. I made Carbonara. Be there in 10._

**Timothée**  
_You’re the best mama ever._

It took Nicole exactly eight and a half minutes to show up at his doorstep and when Timmy opened the door for her, she enveloped him into a firm hug, before she slapped the back of his head.

“Ow, Mama! What was that for?” He rubbed his palm over the sore spot - which wasn’t even really sore, but Timmy liked to exaggerate a little when it came to his mom - and closed the door behind her.

“That’s for not taking care of yourself like a proper adult,” she said, pointing a finger in his face, before she went over to the kitchen and unpacked the food she’d brought.

“Oh, I took care of myself alright,” Timmy mumbled, not loud enough for Nicole to hear. He followed her into the kitchen and took a plate for himself from the cupboards. “I, um… I heard from Armie,” he told his mom cautiously. She whirled around and looked up at Timmy with a big grin on her face.

“You did? What did he say? Am I planning a wedding yet?”

“Uhg, Mooom,” Timmy whined, running both hands over his face. Nicole chuckled and plated some pasta carbonara for him. She put it in the microwave and leaned back against the counter, folding her arms across her chest as she waited for him to tell her more.

“Well?” she pushed, impatiently.

“Here, just-,” Timmy went over to the kitchen table, snatched up the letter and handed it to his mother. “Read it.”

“Do I want to?” She cocked an eyebrow and Timmy’s face immediately felt hot.

“It’s not dirty,” he shrugged, twisting the hem of his shirt between his fingers.

“Gotta be careful, I never know with you,” Nicole teased him, ruffling his curls. Timmy whined again and went to get his food from the microwave when it dinged. He sat down at the table and gestured his mother over for her to do the same. She joined him without taking her eyes off the letter. Timmy ate in comfortable silence and looked up at her every now and then to see the reaction on her face, but apart from a relaxed smile, she didn’t show any emotions.

When Timmy was over halfway through the food on his plate, she finally put the letter down. “He’s a very sweet man, Timothée,” she told him, but there was a barely visibly frown between her brows. Timmy had seen that look enough to know that she was worried.

“Uh-oh, full name. What’s on your mind, Mama?” he asked, putting his fork down on the edge of his plate.

“I just need you to be on your guard,” she said, chewing on the corner of her lip. “He sounds very mature, but it also seems like he’s got a lot of baggage. The fact that he regrets how things went between you and wants to make it up to you is very promising, but… Be careful, sweetie. Look out for yourself first, okay? Don’t rush into this.”

Timmy nodded vigorously, reaching over to squeeze his mother’s hand in reassurance. “Of course I will. Don’t worry, Mama, I’m a big boy now.” He grinned cheekily and Nicole laughed, her eyes shiny with fondness and adoration for the boy she created.

“You certainly are,” she said. She ran a hand over his cheek and cupped his jaw, lovingly digging her thumb into his chin, before she sat back. Timmy noticed her eyes wandering through his living room, probably in search of something to clean up, but he had kept his place nice and tidy. He also noticed the moment her gaze fell onto the picture that he had shoved aside on the table, but he reacted too slow and she had picked it up before he could say something.

“Oh, is this him?” she asked excitedly, studying the picture closely. Timmy groaned and hid his face in his hands.

“Yeah, that’s him,” he sighed.

“God, he’s a dreamboat, Tim! No wonder you skipped dinner.”

“Mom!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate your comments, it motivates me so much! ♥


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Please, cut it out, Nick!” Armie kept an eye on their surroundings as he picked up his pace, trying to keep up with Nick without actually making a run for him. His stomach twisted up in knots and his heart started thumping loudly against his ribcage. He tried to ignore the bitter taste in the back of his throat and watched where Nick was putting his feet down in the sand with every step he took - something he should have done himself. For the first time on this mission, Armie was genuinely scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love and support this story gets, I'm so happy you appreciate it! I hope y'all are ready for this... ♥

> **From: Timothée C. [timmychalamettt@gmail.com]  
>  To: Armand Hammer [adhammer86@gmail.com]  
> Subject: 4 weeks!!!**
> 
> Hi Armz!
> 
> Four more weeks! Only four more weeks and you’ll be coming home! Are you excited yet? I bet you can’t wait to see Archie and sleep in your own bed again. Can you taste that juicy steak that’s waiting for you? You dream about it, don’t you? Is Nick as excited to go home as you are?
> 
> I can’t wait, Armz. I can’t wait to see you again and… kiss the shit outta you, lol. I really wanna do that. I know I said I wanted to take it slow, but I think you’d allow me to kiss you anyway. Right?
> 
> How are you feeling? How was yesterday’s patrol? I worry a lot about you, you know. I know you say it’s no big deal, but anything can happen at any given time and that scares me. I want you home safe, so we can go have a juicy steak together and binge watch The Office on your big, comfy couch. With ice cream! God, I want you hooooome, Armie!
> 
> This is gonna have to be a short one, cuz I’m leaving for work in a few minutes, but I promise the next one will be longer! If you’re good, I’ll even send you a picture. I’m not smirking right now, I’m really not. Hehe.
> 
> K, talk to you soon, handsome! Be careful and stay safe!
> 
> xoxoxo

Armie’s heart thumped loudly in his chest as he read Timmy’s email over and over again. They had been emailing back and forth for weeks, telling each other all about their lives back home and about their future plans, hopes and dreams. Timmy had sent him a few pictures of himself and Armie had printed one out when no one was looking. He had stuffed the picture in his pillow case and he would look at it before he’d go to sleep at night and before he’d get up in the morning. The first time they had met, Armie had immediately noticed how enticing the boy was. It was obviously what had drawn his attention, but now that he was getting to know Timmy, he was discovering that he was actually a really interesting person. He was smart and funny; he was caring, sweet and honest and he often asked questions that made Armie think long and hard before he answered. He liked that. With every day that went by - and with every email he received - Armie got more impatient to get home and more excited to finally take Timmy out on a date and do things properly. He was silently counting down the days. _Four more weeks,_ as Timmy had said.

“Hey, are you almost done?” Nick asked, sticking his head through the door of the trailer. Armie looked up from the screen and nodded at his best friend.

“I’m just gonna shoot him a quick email back,” he said, gesturing to the computer in front of him.

“‘Kay, good,” Nick smiled. “It’s almost time for breakfast.”

“Be there in a sec.” Armie winked at Nick and turned back to the computer to write his reply.

> **From: Armand Hammer [adhammer86@gmail.com]  
>  To: Timothée C. [timmychalamettt@gmail.com]  
> Subject: Re: 4 weeks!!!**
> 
> Timmyyyyy!
> 
> Only four more weeks! God, we’re so ready to go home, you have no idea. Nick keeps talking my ear off about spaghetti and meatballs and beer. Makes me yearn for normality. I can’t wait to cuddle with Archie and faceplant my bed (which is soft and big enough to contain my entire 6’5” existence, a luxury I am sorely missing over here). And yes, I dream about juicy things. Steak, amongst other things. I’m winking perversely at you.
> 
> You’re asking me if I’d let you kiss me? Hmm… let’s see about that. You’d have to come up with a solid plan, because chances are I might kiss you first. Do you need oxygen at all? I might not let you come up for air, you know. Try me.
> 
> I’m feeling pretty good! Yesterday’s patrol was intense (can’t tell you much, but there were sandstorms involved). I survived, though! My body is sore and I’m tired as fuck, but other than that, I’m okay. Today should be pretty easy. I’m working transport duty after breakfast and then another patrol along the valley. Nothing I can’t handle, so don’t worry too much, Timmy Tim. I’ll come home safe and we’ll do everything you want, I promise.
> 
> I’M GOOD, I’M ALWAYS GOOD. SEND ME MORE PICTURES. Pretty please? You’d make me ridiculously happy. And you were soooo smirking. It’s what you do. You’re a tease, disguised by a cute smile. Jesus fuck, I miss you. Hope you had a good day at work, I’ll talk to you soon! 
> 
> Love, Armie.

He quickly logged out of his email account, shut down the computer and hurried out of the trailer to be in time for breakfast. He didn’t think he would need much of his energy, but he’d never skip breakfast, not even for Timmy. He hoped he’d be sharing his breakfast with Timmy soon, but until then, he’d just have to suck it up.

* * *

“Goddamnit,” Nick groaned that afternoon, as they strolled along the fence back to camp. “I thought today was going to be easy, but I’m fucking exhausted.”

Armie hiked his rifle further up his shoulder and sighed. “Tell me about it,” he mumbled. “My muscles are fucking aching. Did you know Garcia had that big of a shipment coming in this morning?”

“I knew he had _a_ shipment coming in this morning, but I had no idea that it was going to take us three hours to move it all. I can’t even feel my biceps anymore, dude.” Nick tucked his flask loose from his vest and took the lid off. He offered it to Armie, who shook his head and kicked at a pebble in the sand.

“Timmy said it’s only four more weeks, you know,” Armie said, shooting a quick glance over at his best friend. Nick took a big gulp of water and nodded, his cheeks filled with water. Armie smiled. “I’m hoping it’ll go by faster than the past months have.”

“What, so you can get some ass?” Nick grinned cheekily and ducked when Armie’s hand came up to smack the back of his head. “Don’t even! You know you want it,” Nick chuckled, shoving Armie away from him playfully.

“It’s not just about that, though,” Armie shrugged, staring straight ahead as they kept walking. His feet felt heavy from dragging them through the sand all day and the sun was blazingly hot on top of his head. He wished he had taken a hat with him.

“Yeah, I know. You love him.” Nick looked over his shoulder, scanned the area they were supposed to be patrolling and then touched Armie’s arm. “Tag, you’re it!” he shouted, before he took a short sprint.

“Nick, don’t fucking do that,” Armie hissed. “You need to take shit serious for once. And I do _not_ love him.”

“You totally do. Oh, come on, you big baby,” Nick chuckled breathlessly. “If everything goes well, this is our last time being here! It’s safe, there’s no one here. Have some fun with me.”

“I am not here to have fun and I’m not risking our lives, just because you think you can let loose all of a sudden. Now come back here!”

Nick stuck his tongue out and shook his head, walking backwards. Armie looked over the man’s shoulder to the road ahead. Although still far away, he could already see camp and he sighed in relief. He was ready to give his feet some rest and have dinner. He took a few bigger steps and caught up with Nick, bumping their shoulders together.

“I do like him a lot,” he mumbled and Nick barked out a laugh.

“No shit, sherlock. I’m giving it two dates, before you declare your love for him.”

“I’m not like that,” Armie said, cocking an eyebrow at his friend. Nick shook his head and smiled sickeningly sweet.

“You’re not, but with this guy you are. Stop acting all tough and admit that he’s got you wrapped around his little finger already.” Nick turned the bill of his cap to the back of his head and wiped at his forehead. Armie bit his lip and shrugged.

“Maybe,” he murmured.

Nick snorted. “Little better. You’ll get there eventually,” he said, patting the back of Armie’s shoulder. “Sprint you back to base?”

“No, Nick, I’m not gonna- Nick! No!”

Armie tried to grab for his friend, but he had already taken off. He took a few quick but cautious steps, but something didn’t feel right. The Helmand River Valley was a dangerous area. He had seen many of their men lose their lives to either terrorist attacks or explosive devices. One wrong move and you’d give up your location - make yourself known to people you don’t want to mess with. One wrong step and you could be one of those men who were now being remembered in a makeshift memorial near the entrance of the base.

“Please, cut it out, Nick!” Armie kept an eye on their surroundings as he picked up his pace, trying to keep up with Nick without actually making a run for him. His stomach twisted up in knots and his heart started thumping loudly against his ribcage. He tried to ignore the bitter taste in the back of his throat and watched where Nick was putting his feet down in the sand with every step he took - something he should have done himself. For the first time on this mission, Armie was genuinely scared. No sandstorms and possible threats from across the border had made his body feel this alert and he silently wished for Nick to feel it too.

“Armie, come on! Will you stop being so grumpy for just a few seconds? I promise, nothing is going to ha-”

_Click._

Nick suddenly froze and Armie could see from the way his shoulders stilled that he was holding his breath.

“Nick?” Armie stopped a few feet away from his friend and held on to his rifle out of habit. He felt a cold sweat break out on the back of his neck and knew immediately that something was wrong. “Nick, talk to me, man,” he gently coaxed, his annoyance for Nick’s playful ways disappearing like snow before the sun.

“Don’t come closer,” the man whispered and even though no actual sounds came out, Armie could hear the terror in his voice. “I stepped on one.”

Armie’s eyes immediately fell down to where Nick’s boot was firmly planted in the hot desert sand. His friend’s knee was quaking, but his foot didn’t move an inch. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, taking a cautious sideways step. He shuffled around Nick, so that they could make eye contact.

“I heard it,” Nick said. “I heard a click, I heard it, Armie,” he whimpered, his voice growing louder with each word. He was holding on to his rifle with his right hand and had his left hand on the gun in its holster, strapped to his protective vest.

“You’re absolutely sure? You don’t think it was-”

“Yes, I’m absolutely fucking sure, Armie! Jesus fuck, I’m standing on a goddamn landmine!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Armie said, holding up his hands in defence. “Calm down, I believe you.”

“What am I gonna do? Fuck, what do I do?!” Nick finally seemed to come out of his frozen stance and turned his head to look around the area. Armie followed his gaze and looked at where camp was already visible on the horizon. It would have taken them twenty minutes, half an hour at most, to get back. He shook his head and tried to think clearly. _Think of what you learned in training. Get help. Shuman maneuver._ He shook his head again and took his radio out of the front pocket of his vest. He pressed the button to talk and cleared his throat.

“Hammer to base. I repeat; Hammer to base, over.”

A crackling sound came through the speaker, before Sergeant Garcia’s voice broke the noise.

“Base to Hammer, loud and clear, over.”

Armie took a deep breath, nodded reassuringly at Nick and pressed the button again. “Sir, we’ve gotten ourselves into a bit of a situation. My partner is standing on an IED, over.”

It stayed silent for a moment.

“Repeat that, please. Over.”

“My partner-” Armie swallowed thickly and sighed. “My partner is standing on a landmine, Sir. Help is requested, over.”

“Armie?” Nick sounded unsteady and Armie immediately looked up at him, ready to catch him if he were to pass out due to fear. “I’m gonna die, aren’t I?”

“Don’t even fucking talk like that,” Armie hissed, stepping closer to his friend. He reached a hand out and Nick took it, his fingers damp, but cold. “You’re not gonna die. I won’t let you.”

“But what if-”

“Hey!” Armie harshly cut him off. Fear was squeezing his throat firmly shut, but he had to stay strong for Nick. “I will not let you die. We’re getting out of here in four weeks, remember? We’re gonna go to college. You’re gonna settle down with a pretty girl and everything will be alright. Do you hear me?”

“Okay, yeah,” Nick nodded, wiping the sweat from his brow. Just-”

“Base to Hammer, I can’t track your location, over.”

“Fuck,” Armie sighed. He checked his GPS, but there was, indeed, no signal. He groaned and pressed the button on his radio again. “It appears we’ve lost signal, Sir. What do I do? We need help ASAP. Over.”

“Are you close to base? Over.”

“Please, please, please, please,” Nick whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back. He let go of Armie’s hand and grabbed on to the back of his own neck. Armie had never seen his friend this anxious and it made him question his own words. Was he really going to be okay?”

“About thirty minutes South from camp, Sir,” he spoke into the radio. “I can meet you halfway, over.”

“What?! You can’t leave me here, Armie!” Nick’s head snapped back down and he reached for Armie, only managing to grab onto his uniform. He wobbled in place and his eyes widened in fear. He quickly let go and steadied himself, before he took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face. “Don’t leave me, man,” he pleaded.

“I don’t have a choice, Niki,” he said. He reached for Nick’s hand again and squeezed his fingers. “I’ll be back as soon as possible, okay?” He took a step back and kept his eyes on his friend, until Nick nodded and exhaled heavily. Then, he spoke into the radio again. “I’m on my way now, Sir. Over.”

“Be careful! Don’t walk in a straight line!” Nick shouted from behind him and even though Armie heard him, he did not stop to acknowledge it. All he could think about was getting closer to base, to the bomb squad that was undoubtedly being sent. He needed to make sure Nick got the help he needed. 

He ran in a zig-zag pattern in the direction of where he could see camp, a commotion stirring up dust on the horizon. He could only hope that those were the humvees being put into motion.

As camp came closer and minutes passed, Armie kept running, his rifle heavy on his shoulder, but it didn’t even bother him anymore. _Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick,_ he thought every time his feet hit the ground.

It was when the humvees came into view that he wanted to exclaim a shout of relief, but before he could even inhale, there was a loud explosion behind him and suddenly the entire world stood still. He turned back to look at the dark grey cloud in the air and his heart dropped to his stomach.

“Nick!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are definitely allowed to yell at me now :') I'm getmehighonmagic on tumblr and peachyperfectao3 on instagram, btw! ♥


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a miserable sigh, he sagged in his chair and threw his head back to stare up at the ceiling. He hadn’t heard from Armie in weeks and his absence was slowly but surely tugging on his heart. He didn’t think he was allowed to feel as disappointed about it as he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves! I have only just finished this chapter, but I felt like after that last cliffhanger, it was best to post it right away. Thank you guys so so so much for your support and your enthusiasm ♥ This story has become a little bit of a treasure to me and I'm going to try to put everything I have in here. It might take me a little while until I post the new chapter, but I have a lot of inspiration, so no worries! Enjoy! ♥

“If that’s all I can do for you today, I’d like to thank you for choosing Verizon and wish you a very nice evening, sir.”

Timmy waited for the man on the other end of the line to respond with an affirmative and when he did, he ended the call and took off his headset. He ran a hand through his floppy curls and pinched the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. The headache he had woken up with had intensified and no painkiller seemed to help. There was probably no pill to make the pain of missing something you never really had go away, anyway.

He glanced up and around the room. The call center was almost empty, a noticable difference compared to what it was when he had entered to start his work day. A few of his coworkers were still working their stations on the other side of the room and his chief was settled behind his desk with a deep frown between his brows. Today had been especially tough with a connection failure that lasted over an hour and they still hadn’t worked through all the damage control that had to be done.

Checking the time in the lower right corner of his computer screen, Timmy noticed that he only had about fifteen minutes left until he was allowed to go home. He checked his call screen to make sure there weren’t any calls waiting, before he opened his email and refreshed his inbox.

Nothing.

With a miserable sigh, he sagged in his chair and threw his head back to stare up at the ceiling. He hadn’t heard from Armie in weeks and his absence was slowly but surely tugging on his heart. He didn’t think he was allowed to feel as disappointed about it as he did. They had only been writing to each other for a few months and regardless of the fact that they had had one incredible night together, they hadn’t established anything. Even though Armie had promised he’d treat him better and take him out, he didn’t owe Timmy anything and he was allowed to change his mind, which it seemed like he had.

Maybe he shouldn’t have sent that provocative picture after all. Armie probably thought he was a greedy little slut now, which couldn’t be further from the truth, but he had brought that upon himself. Timmy bit the inside of his cheek and wanted so slap himself for being so stupid. 

He dug his phone out of his jeans pocket and unlocked the screen. He wasn’t going to risk opening the email he had sent to Armie on his work computer, knowing people from IT were able to check your screen at any given moment. With a blush high on his cheeks, he reread the words he had written, wishing he could take them and the pictures back.

> **From: Timothée C. [timmychalamettt@gmail.com]  
>  To: Armand Hammer [adhammer86@gmail.com]  
>  Subject: I guess you’ve been good...**
> 
> Armieeeee!
> 
> Nick sounds like my kinda guy, haha! Except I’ve already claimed you a little bit and I’m more than perfectly happy with that. God, that’s stupid to say, isn’t it? I don’t mean to make you feel tied down. But, you know… I like you, so… Anyway. What other juicy things do you fantasize about, besides steak? You gotta elaborate, despite the perverted wink (that I’m dying to see FYI).
> 
> I honestly can’t wait for you to kiss me, even if it’s just one more time. I guess I can go without oxygen for a while, if that means you’ll take advantage of the moment. You try me, mister.
> 
> We’re getting good at the cautiously naughty thing, aren’t we? I hope that won’t distract you from your work over there, because I need you to focus, so I don’t fucking lose you already. Have I mentioned how much I worry? Yeah, it’s a lot. I hope your day has actually been as easy as you thought it would be. You just promised me to come home safely and I’m going to remind you of that every day from now on. The ‘anything I want’ is also super promising. 
> 
> I guess you really have been good, answering all my stupid questions and being as sweet as you are… And I do want to make you ridiculously happy, even though I’m not sure I can live up to that. It’s just me after all. But you think I have a cute smile, so I’ll use that on you. I’ve added a picture that my jerk of a sister took of me at our last family reunion. I look like absolute shit, but it’s the only smiling one I have of myself. I usually take droopy selfies, you know. I’ve also… um… added a picture to remind you of just exactly what you’re missing. And what will be waiting for you as soon as you get home (please don’t let him hate it, he thinks as he hesitatingly hovers over the ‘send’ button. God, I’m dumb).
> 
> I’m going to have dinner and try not to regret this. Bye Armz, talk soon!
> 
> xoxoxoxo
> 
> [](https://imgbb.com/) [](https://imgbb.com/)  
> 

Embarrassment made Timmy’s stomach turn and he locked his screen and slipped his phone back in his pocket. He sat up straight and went through his reports of the day, making sure he had taken note of every call he had received to distract himself from a worrisome portion of self-loathing. The twenty minute walk home with just his thoughts was going to be fun.

* * *

When Timmy finally stepped over the threshold of his apartment that night, he frowned in confusion when he noticed that there was light and sound coming from his living room. He could hear silverware being moved around, water running and as he closed the door behind him, there was a soft giggle that was unmistakably Florence’s. 

“He’s here. How much longer does the chicken need?”

Timmy hung up his jacket, dropped his backpack by the door and walked down the small corridor to his living area. He watched his two best friends move around behind his kitchen counter, so well adjusted to each other’s presence that they didn’t even bump into each other as they were doing so. Saoirse was stirring the - still unknown to Timmy - contents in a wok pan as Florence tossed a salad and kept one eye on the oven timer. His eyes stung at the sight, which caught him off guard. It wasn’t rare for him to find one or both of his friends in his apartment - they both had a key after all - but they hadn’t made any plans. After the shitty day he had had, though, he was eternally grateful for the fact that he wasn’t alone, at least not for a little while. He didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts and feelings, they were overwhelming enough as it was.

“What are you girls doing here?” he asked. His voice caught in his throat and he swallowed the lump of emotions, before plastering a smile on his face and shuffling closer.

“Well, since we haven’t heard from you in a few days, we thought it would be a good idea to cook you dinner and cheer you up a bit,” Saoirse said, cocking an accusing eyebrow at him, but her eyes were soft and Timmy sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.

“What makes you think I need to be cheered up?” 

“Gee, where do we begin, babe?” Florence sarcastically asked her girlfriend. “How about the fact that you don’t read our texts and when you do, you reply in one-word responses? What the fuck even is ‘k’? The audacity, dude. You haven’t shown your face in over a week, you don’t share stuff on social media… I even miss your stupid book reccommendations.”

“Hey, my books aren’t stupid,” Timmy protested. “I thought you’d enjoy them.” He pouted and folded his arms across his chest.

“We do, you know she talks a lot of shit,” Saoirse said, turning off the burner under the wok.

“Babe!” Florence gasped and smacked Saoirse’s butt with the back of her hand.

“That’s not the point, though,” Saoirse went on like nothing ever happened. She carried the wok to the kitchen table, which Timmy only now noticed was set for three - complete with candles and wine glasses. “The point is that we know that something is wrong with you when you’re that absent. You know we worry, sweetie.” She came up to Timmy and gently grabbed his chin between her fingers, rubbing her thumb over his jawline.

Timmy bit his lip and pulled his friend in for a hug, letting his chin rest on her shoulder. He tightened his arms around her waist and took a deep breath, trying to suppress the urge to cry. He should have known that his friends would catch on eventually, but he hadn’t thought that it was that obvious that he was feeling like shit.

“Thank you,” he whispered, pressing his nose into Saoirse’s loose, blonde strands.

“Go have a seat, sweetie. I’m gonna take the chicken out of the oven and then we can talk about what’s bothering you, okay?” She ran a hand over the back of his head and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, okay,” Timmy nodded, pulling back from the hug. He sat down at the table and silently thanked whoever was up there for gifting him with such amazing friends.

“So,” Florence started half an hour later, as they were clearing their plates and picking at what was left on the table. “Now that your stomach is full and you look a little more at peace, do you want to tell us what’s going on?”

Timmy picked half a cherry tomato from the salad bowl, popped it into his mouth and sighed. He wanted to talk about it. He wanted to tell them about Armie and how much he missed their interaction, but he didn’t even know where to start. He kind of wanted to keep the little secrets to himself, but he also kind of wanted to scream them from the rooftop, hoping that Armie would hear him. He contemplated how to approach the subject for a few seconds, before he just decided to state the obvious.

“I haven’t talked to Armie in weeks.”

“Why not?” Saoirse asked, putting her silverware down on her plate. She wiped her mouth, threw her napkin down and cocked an eyebrow as she placed her elbows on the table and folded her hands together. Timmy knew that look. If Armie had been here, she’d have smacked the man across the back of his head.

Timmy shrugged and fingered a curl that hung loosely over his forehead. “I don’t know. He hasn’t responded to my last email and that was at least four weeks ago.”

“Well, what did you send him?” Florence asked. “Did you scare him off already?”

“Flo, don’t do that!” Saoirse immediately scolded her girlfriend. “There’s nothing he could have done that could have possibly scared the dickhead off.”

“Hey, he’s not a dickhead,” Timmy protested, lightly pushing his friend against her shoulder. Saoirse scoffed, but wisely kept her mouth shut and Timmy took that as a sign for him to continue. “He’s been really sweet to me since he wrote me that first time,” he said, before he lowered his voice and muttered under his breath: “I just had to go and do something dumb, as usual.”

Florence gasped. “You sent him a nude,” she said with a grin from ear to ear, and Timmy could feel his face heat up.

“I did not send him a nude! I… I had jeans on, but-”

“Please, for the love of everything that is holy, tell me you didn’t send him a dick pic,” Saoirse groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“No, no, I didn’t!” Timmy ran a hand through his hair and then hid his face behind his palms, which were turning slightly sweaty. “It was just a picture of my ass, okay?!” he groaned, before he dropped his hands onto the table top and started fiddling with the rings on his fingers. “He asked for more pictures of me, and I sent him a normal one too, but I just… I felt like doing something a little more daring. I never even flirt with people and this is all unfamiliar territory. I think it may have… spooked him.”

The room was silent for a few tense seconds, but then both girls snorted and burst out into a fit of giggles. Timmy’s eyes shifted back and forth between them, his mouth dropping open in surprise, before he joined them both and laughed at his own misery. He had to admit that it was kind of funny.

“Oh, my sweet Timmy,” Saoirse chuckled, petting his hair with a small, soft hand. “I’m so very sure that your ass isn’t the problem here. He’s seen it in the flesh, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember, alright,” Timmy said sheepishly, squirming a little at the memory.

“I think you just need to wait it out a little bit longer. Wasn’t he supposed to be coming back this week?” Florence wiped at her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ears, focusing on Timmy once more.

“Yeah, Tuesday,” Timmy nodded. He had put the date of Armie’s homecoming on his calendar and every time he had looked at it, he had silently told himself to take a deep breath and be patient. Could Armie be home already? Did he just need a few days to get some rest? Or had something happened and was there a different reason for his radio silence?

“I really think you should wait a few more days,” Saoirse agreed with her girlfriend. “He might contact you when he’s rested - if he's home, that is.”

Timmy bit his lip and pulled the side of his mouth up into a grimace. “But what if he doesn’t?” he asked softly. Saoirse reached out and cupped his cheek the way she had done earlier. She smiled and shook her head.

“Don’t break your pretty brain over that just yet, love.”

* * *

Lying in bed that night, Timmy stared up at the ceiling and fiddled with the edge of his comforter. Working his days away had been a fantastic solution to keep his mind from wandering over the past few weeks and dinner with Saoirse and Florence had certainly been a welcome distraction, but now that he was alone again, relaxation seemed further away than ever. He tried to think about anything but Armie and why the man had decided not to answer anymore. He didn’t want to think about why that bothered him so much and why he couldn’t seem to get over him. 

Even more so, he really didn’t want to think about other reasons for Armie to stop contacting him, other than him being done with Timmy’s endless rambling or annoying questions. He shuddered at the thought that something could have happened to him; that he could have been in an accident or worse - under attack. The image of Armie, fighting for his life in a hospital bed, flashed before his eyes and he squeezed them tightly shut. _No._ He refused to even consider that. Armie was big and strong, but most of all, he was careful. He had said so himself, in one of his emails. He had to be okay.

Timmy closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. He pulled the comforter up under his chin, rolled over onto his side and curled up into a ball, successfully wrapping himself in his blankets. He was instantly more comfortable and with a last glance at the picture of Armie on his nightstand, he fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

The next morning had Timmy staring at a blank document on his laptop, his toast and eggs forgotten beside him on the table. He was clad in just a pair of sweatpants, having put them on after a quick shower. His chest was bare and even though it was cold outside and the heating hadn’t fully kicked in yet, he could barely feel the chill, determined to concentrate solely on the thought he had woken up with.

Ever since he had discovered his passion for books in sixth grade, he had started writing short stories of his own. His parents had read a few, Pauline had read them all and he had even commissioned a few for projects in school. When it was time for high school and people had started asking him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he had always given everyone the same answer. Of course, when he got older and life got more hectic, he hadn’t had time to write as much as he used to and even less energy to try and come up with something. Adulthood took his inspiration and he had eventually chosen a path that made more sense. He had stumbled his way through college, never really knowing where he was headed and after he had graduated, he had settled for the job of Tech Agent at Verizon. It didn’t make him happy, he didn’t go home satisfied with what he had accomplished by the end of the day, but it wasn’t a very difficult job and it brought in decent money. The most important thing was that he was making a life for himself.

His life, however, didn’t feel complete in the least. He had dreamt of Armie all night - imagined what it would be like if the man hadn’t been deployed to Afghanistan for six months and if they’d continued their relationship after that one fantastic night. He had wondered if Armie would have been interested in him if there hadn’t been so many miles between them. Absence made the heart grow fonder and all that. But it had been just that: a dream. An image that had settled in Timmy’s brain, one he couldn’t seem to get rid of. It made him question what he really wanted in life. The simple job; his preference to be alone - he was wondering if he wasn’t sabotaging himself by settling for the bare minimum. He owed it to himself to at least try to achieve more of his dreams and if he couldn’t have Armie, who seemed to have claimed most of his dreams at the moment, he could at least give writing another go.

The thought of emptying his mind on a piece of paper had his heart racing in excitement and he hadn’t gotten out of bed with such diligence, as he had that morning, in a long time. He had made himself a quick breakfast, but eating was the last thing on his mind. _Armie. Armie. Armie._

Timmy’s fingers hovered over the keyboard of his laptop and after a moment of hesitation he typed the words ‘Words Of Hope’. After pressing the enter key twice, he brought his hands to his face and stared anxiously at the phrase. He couldn’t believe what he was about to do, but now that the first words had been anchored at the top of the page, he didn’t want to back down. He wanted to do this, if not for the world, then for himself.

He sat up straight and lowered his hands back to his keyboard. A grin broke out on his face and he suddenly felt excited for this. He was grateful that he had the weekend off, because he already knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop, once the words would start flowing.

He took a deep breath and tentatively typed the first few words, when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. He frowned and checked the time. Saoirse and Florence both worked on Saturdays and it was unlikely for his family to show up unannounced. Had he ordered anything? He had been so tired over the past few weeks, he couldn’t even remember.

As he stumbled to the door, he ran a hand through his damp curls and pulled up the waistband of his sweatpants, making sure he looked decent. He completely forgot that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, trying to think of who would voluntarily want to pay him a visit on a random Saturday morning.

When he opened the door, it was like the wind was being knocked out of him. His heart dropped to his stomach and his brows furrowed in confusion, while his lips parted in surprise.

“A-Armie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a dick, aren't I?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nick, come on, man!” I grabbed his closest shoulder and hip and rolled him over before I checked his pulse, which was still present. Slow, but steady. I grabbed both of his cheeks and patted one of them, trying to get him to regain consciousness. “Open your eyes, man. Come on, open your eyes! Stay with me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so overwhelmed by all your comments on this story, it's absolutely amazing and I appreciate all of you! ♥ Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and your dedication, it means the world! Thanks to **Jolieprudence** for my beta ♥

_”Nick! Fucking-... Nick!”_

_I stumbled over my own feet in my hurry to get to my best friend, the dry sand under my shoes making it difficult to navigate properly. I could barely see through the cloud of smoke and dust, but the air started to clear up the closer I got. With only a few hundred feet to go before I reached the place where I had left Nick, I now had a better view of the situation. I could see Nick’s still body lying face down on the ground. He appeared to be missing a leg, but I tried not to focus on that as I rushed to his side and dropped to my knees, more concerned over whether he was still alive or not. I couldn’t lose him._

_“Nick, come on, man!” I grabbed his closest shoulder and hip and rolled him over before I checked his pulse, which was still present. Slow, but steady. I grabbed both of his cheeks and patted one of them, trying to get him to regain consciousness. “Open your eyes, man. Come on, open your eyes! Stay with me!”_

_Nick coughed, heaved a deep breath and then screamed in agony, grabbing onto my wrists. His eyes opened and seemed to roll back in his head before they focused on mine. His pupils were blown wide and his entire face was covered in grime._

_“Ar-... Arm-ie… It hurts! Oh God, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts… My leg!”_

_My chest clenched tightly at his words and I pulled his upper body up on my thighs to get him off the dusty ground. I wrapped an arm around his front and held his chin with my other hand._

_“Just look at me,” I said, keeping a close eye on his expressions. I couldn’t afford to miss a sign. I needed him to live. “Don’t look at it, focus on me!”_

_Nick nodded and pursed his lips into a thin line. His breath grumbled in his chest and his nostrils flared as he tried to breathe through the pain. His hands shook when he grabbed my arm, which was wrapped around his chest, and he squeezed his fingers around the fabric of my uniform._

_“What the fuck did you do, you idiot?!” I yelled and I could hear how my voice broke. “I told you not to move!”_

_Nick gritted his teeth and shuddered through what looked like an intense twinge of pain. “I thought… I thought I could do it. The Schumann ma-... I thought it would work…”_

_“Goddamnit, Nick,” I sighed, blinking against the tears. I had to be the strong one. I was about to yell at my friend for being goddamn fucking stupid, when the first humvee finally stopped beside us and suddenly everything went faster than I could keep up with. Several people from the bomb squad secured the area, while two of our medics dropped to the ground beside us. Someone pulled me away from Nick and I let them. I knew they could take better care of him, but I steadily kept my eyes on his face. The commotion around us was loud, but Nick’s shouts of pain were louder and kept me alert enough to keep myself from going into shock._

_He had lost his leg. My best friend had lost his leg._

_“Hammer!” The sergeant’s voice drew my attention and I turned my head this way and that, trying to locate him. He came up from behind me and guided me another few steps backwards. “A helicopter is on its way to take him to the hospital. You need to go back to camp.”_

_“What?” I seethed. “No way. No fucking way. I’m not leaving him.”_

_“It wasn’t a question, Marine. Get in that vehicle over there.” He pointed towards a humvee, but I didn’t even follow his finger. I widened my stance and firmly shook my head._

_“No, I’m going with him!”_

_“You’re going back to camp, Hammer! That’s an order!”_

_Garcia was shouting over the sound of the helicopter. It was slowly lowering to the ground and dust flared up into the air again. My breathing was so ragged that I inhaled some of it and I coughed so hard, I doubled over a little. I let out a loud, frustrated shout - pointed at the sand between my boots - and then straightened up again. I was so done with every single aspect of this job, had been for a while, and on top of being exhausted, I now had the added concern of whether my friend was going to live or die. I couldn’t lose the one person who hadn’t given up on me in life._

_“You can stick your order elsewhere!” I shouted at sergeant Garcia, my emotions taking over my rational side. I watched how Nick was being placed on a stretcher; how they kept his neck steady with a brace. I finally dared a look at his leg and the bloody stump made me wince, my stomach turning unpleasantly. “I’m going!” I quickly ran after the paramedics as they lifted Nick into the helicopter._

_“Hammer!” I could hear Garcia angrily barking my name, but he was the least of my concerns. If only I could make sure that Nick survived; that we both made it home safely, he would never be one of my concerns ever again._

_I sat down on a bench on the side and reached out to take Nick’s hand. “Come on, Niki. You can do it, stay with us,” I told him, rubbing my thumb over his ice cold knuckles._

_“Hammer, get back here! Hammer!”_

Armie jerked awake with a gasp, sweat pooling on his upper lip and dripping down his back. Archie stirred at his feet, but kept his eyes closed and sighed deeply, obviously not ready to face the day yet. Armie wiped a hand over his face, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up straight. He gently stroked a hand over Archie’s back, tangling the tips of his fingers into the dog’s soft, curly fur.

Every night for the past four weeks, he’d woken up to the same dream. He had never known that it was possible to dream actual occurrences in life so vividly and frankly, he could have done without it. Having actually lived through the situation was worse enough, he didn’t feel the need to be reminded of it every goddamn single night.

He picked up his phone from his bedside table and tapped the screen to make it light up. The time read 7:21AM and he fell back into his pillow with a sigh. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest and he knew that more sleep was out of the question. He stretched his arms above his head and curled his toes, before he swung his legs over the side of his mattress and sat up. There was a faint light coming in from the slit between his curtains and he guessed that the dark of the night hadn’t disappeared entirely yet. A slight chill in his bedroom made the hairs on his body stand up and he shivered.

He had only been home for a week and he was still getting used to winter in New York. The first two weeks after the explosion, they had stayed at the hospital in Afghanistan. Nick had been reeled into surgery and Armie had anxiously waited for hours, pacing the humid hallway until his name was called and he could finally see his friend. He hadn’t left his bedside for days, until Nick insisted that he’d get some sleep, so one of the nurses had put up a bed for him. When he’d woken up, it was to a rustling sound in the room and he could see how two doctors fussed over Nick, who was sweating, his skin pale and his eyes blown wide open. They had rushed him right back into the operating room, where they had discovered that he’d developed an infection in his bloodstream. While Armie waited for Nick to wake up from his antibiotic induced sleep, two of their fellow marines had shown up to drop off his and Nick’s bags and personal belongings. They had barely exchanged two words, before they were off again and Armie was grateful that no one had expected him to actually indulge in conversation. He was not in the mood.

All in all, it had taken two weeks, before Nick was finally declared healthy enough to fly and was transferred to Bellevue Hospital in New York. Armie had stayed with him for another week, helping him through his recovery and the first rehabilitation appointments, but eventually he’d had to go home and pick up Archie. Nick’s parents had been so generous to keep him until Armie was ready, but he missed his little rascal terribly once New York ground was beneath his feet again and he wanted to give Nick’s parents all the time they needed to spend with their son. He still went to visit Nick every day and they had decided that it was best for him to temporarily move in with Armie once he would be released from the hospital. He would need to move around in a wheelchair and on crutches and Armie’s apartment was bigger and more spacious. It also had an elevator, a luxury Nick’s apartment building was still lacking.

Being back in his own space reminded Armie of everything he’d had before he left for Afghanistan and everything he wanted to achieve, now that he had officially turned in his resignation letter. He had dropped both his and Nick’s letter off at the post office the day before and he had a renewed sense of freedom bubbling up in his chest ever since. The possibilities were endless.

That renewed sense of freedom came with a feeling of longing for his future which in turn brought up thoughts of Timmy. Beautiful, smart, quirky Timmy, whom he had not spoken to for weeks. He hadn’t even been in touch with anyone in the real world, so focused on Nick and his recovery that he completely eliminated himself. He hadn’t checked his email yet and considering how long it had been, he felt nervous to do so, now that he had some time to himself again. He could only imagine what Timmy was thinking. His heart ached at the thought and he convinced himself that he had probably ruined his chances with the boy to spare himself the loss of something he had never even had.

Armie got up and grabbed a change of clothing from his closet, not at all bothered whether the sweater would match with the pants or not. He just wanted to take a quick shower, walk Archie and head out the door. He decided to grab some breakfast on the way to the hospital to treat Nick to some real food and good coffee. The hardwood floor was ice cold under his feet and with his clothes under his arm, he hurried into the bathroom.

* * *

“Uhg, this face again,” Nick sighed when Armie walked into his hospital room an hour later, but there was a cheeky twinkle in his eyes and his mouth curled up into a grin. His hair was damp and messy and the scent of his body wash was strong in the room. Armie guessed that the nurse had just been in to help him with his shower and he was a little proud of his timing. That meant that he hadn’t eaten yet.

Armie flipped him off and placed the brown paper bags he had picked up on Nick’s side table. “I can still kick your ass, you know,” he shot back, unpacking a box of hazelnut chocolate chip scones, pear and berry breakfast tarts and cheese filled croissants.

Nick gasped in feigned shock. “That’s not fair, I’m crippled now!” He carefully sat up in bed, shoving an extra pillow behind his back, before he took the unopened bag and peeked inside. “Do I smell coffee? Like, actual decently brewed coffee?” He fumbled with the bag and reached in to take out the two large to-go cups, but Armie swatted at his hand and took over.

“Let me do it,” he mumbled, handing one of the cups to Nick. He took off the lid so that the liquid would cool off a little bit and his friend wouldn’t scald himself.

“I blew off my leg, but my hands work perfectly, dear,” Nick said playfully, but Armie couldn’t bring up the courage to laugh about it.

“Don’t even,” he said, taking the lid off his own cup and taking a cautious sip. He held out the box of pastries to Nick and waited until he had taken one of each, before he took his coat off, took out a croissant for himself and sat down on the chair beside his bed.

“You gotta stop feeling guilty, man. This wasn’t your fault,” Nick told him around a mouthful of scone.

“I shouldn’t have left you alone,” Armie shrugged, keeping his eyes on his coffee. “I should have stayed and talked you out of that ridiculous idea that you could just-”

“We’re not having this discussion again,” Nick interrupted, reaching out to flick Armie’s ear. Armie smiled stiffly, took a deep breath and then looked up at his friend. His face must have given away his weariness, as Nick frowned and tilted his head to the side. “Still having nightmares?”

“Every single night. I’m really enjoying them,” Armie replied sarcastically. “I’m just-...” He swallowed thickly around the sudden lump of emotions in his throat. “I’m just grateful you’re still here.”

“You think I’d want to miss out on your wedding? Hell no, dude. I need to see Timmy in a dress.”

Armie put his coffee on the table, before he lightly punched him in the shoulder and chuckled, but his heart sank in his chest and he sagged in his chair. He took a bite of his croissant and chewed slowly to avoid having to talk about the situation with Timmy, but he knew Nick wasn’t going to let it go. He had been pushing Armie to contact the boy ever since they had arrived back in New York and Armie was slowly growing less reluctant of the idea. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Timmy, he just didn’t want to get rejected.

“Not gonna happen,” he eventually mumbled, after he swallowed his bite. 

“Jesus Christ, Armie,” Nick groaned. “I need you to drop this act and admit that you feel miserable about the fact that you haven’t spoken to him. Looking at you is making me ache and I’m not even pining for the guy. You are.”

“I’m not pining for him,” Armie immediately protested, but it sounded like a lie, even to his own ears. “Look, I-...” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was growing out a little and he didn’t know if he liked it or not. “I miss him, sure. I just… I haven’t even looked at my email yet and I’m just scared he’ll hate me for going silent on him.”

“Why haven’t you looked at your email?” Nick took a sip of his coffee, swallowed with his eyes closed and hummed in satisfaction, seeming to savor the taste. Armie smiled.

“Because you’re-”

“Sure, it’s my fault. Ass.” Nick picked up a napkin, balled it up and threw it at Armie. The older man laughed and threw it right back at him.

“It’s not,” he said, as he watched Nick pick up his second pastry. He was glad to see that his appetite was still growing day by day. He’d need his strength for his therapy sessions. “But I really wanted to be here for you and I kinda pushed everything else aside. You’re my best friend, Niki. You go before anyone else.”

“I love you too,” Nick told him quietly after a beat of silence, before he immediately turned his sass back on. “You are one big softy, you know that? Timmy would be sick of you within a week.”

“Shut up, Remember what I said about kicking your ass?”

They ate in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the luxury of tasty, expensive food and rich coffee. Armie studied his friend as he swallowed big bites of pastry, barely even taking the time to chew properly. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes were bright. He looked a lot better than he had two weeks earlier and that at least eased Armie’s concern a little, but he would make sure that Nick would get back to being his old self, even if it was the last thing he did.

“Eat some more, because you’ve got an important day ahead of you,” Nick suddenly told him, pulling him back to reality. Armie frowned.

“I do?” He couldn’t remember having any other appointments or errands to run. He had planned on spending his day with Nick, playing card games and watching bad movies.

“Oh yes. You’re going to see Timmy.”

“No. Nick, I’m not gonna-”

“You’re going to see Timmy and I don’t wanna hear another word about it.”

Armie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re actually telling me what to do?”

“You’ll thank me when he’s got his tongue back down your throat,” Nick said with a smirk and Armie wanted to smack it right off his face, but his stomach was fluttering and he knew that his friend was right. If he could only find the courage.

“I hate you,” he grumbled. Nick laughed.

“Sure you do.”

* * *

A little over an hour later, Armie shifted back and forth as he stood in front of Timmy’s door, considering whether he was actually going to knock and make himself known or flee the building, lock himself up in his own apartment and wallow in self-pity. He had been able to slip into the building without having to ring the buzzer with Timmy’s name tag next to it, only just managing to stick his foot between the door before it slipped closed behind one of the residents. As he had walked up the stairs, buying himself some time, he had thought about what he wanted to say to the boy, but he hadn’t come up with anything clever. He had a good, valid reason for his silence, but Timmy didn’t know that and Armie was afraid that he would just be angry with him - disappointed, maybe, which would be even worse. Armie thought he could handle it if Timmy was angry, because anger could be resolved. He could explain himself, they could talk it out and if Timmy would let him make it up to him, he would try everything in his power to do that. Disappointment, however, had to do with trust. It was harder to get past and Armie didn’t think he could handle that look on Timmy’s face, knowing that he had let him down.

It was in that moment that he realized that he was feeling the same level or dread and insecurity he’d felt when he had found Niki lying in the dusty desert sand after the explosion. The fear of losing his best friend had gripped him by the throat that same fear was once again creeping up in his chest. Armie frowned and scratched the top of his head, a nervous trait he’d had for as long as he could remember. It felt ridiculous to be scared of losing someone who was never really yours in the first place, but while he had been in Afghanistan, he had thought of Timmy as his. He had wanted to make Timmy his as soon as he’d returned to New York, had things not played out the way they did.

 _“You have to try,”_ Nick’s voice said, sounding so very clear in his head. And maybe his best friend was right. That strange feeling he had inside his chest when he thought about Timmy wasn’t there for no reason. It had to mean something. He’d never felt this way for someone, ever before. He had spent one night with Timmy, had been in his presence only for a few hours, and yet he could remember the way his skin felt; the way his eyes sparkled; the way his voice sounded. He remembered vividly. He had to try.

Armie took a deep, shuddery breath, lifted his hand and knocked on the door. He took a step back, stumbled over his own feet and cursed quietly. As confident as he was, it made no sense at all that he was losing his shit over a quirky boy with eyes like the sun, but that boy had messed with his head and he found himself being fine with it. Even the strongest people had their weaknesses. Apparently his weakness was Timmy.

There was a shuffling sound behind the door, a lock was being turned and then the door opened, showing the curly haired boy in all his glory. _Literally._ His hair was damp, curls hanging around his face in perfect ringlets. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants that hung low on his hips and he lacked a shirt. For a few seconds, Armie was enchanted by his appearance, until Timmy’s soft, angelic voice drew him back to reality.

“A-Armie?”

Armie smiled sheepishly.

“Hi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is the last big cliffhanger, but it felt right, haha! Forgive me pretty please ♥ Are you all doing okay? Please hang in there and stay safe! xo


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy stared at him, his lips parted in shock. “Where have you… I mean, how come you-... Jesus, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, Santa stopped by! MERRY CHRISTMAS! ♥

“You look horrible,” were the first words out of Timmy’s mouth when he’d finally gathered his wits and he immediately regretted them. He rubbed the back of his neck, pushed his curls out of his face and shook his head. “No, that’s not what I-... Shit, I’m sorry,” he stammered, holding on to the door for support. His knees felt weak and his head was spinning. Armie was actually here, at his apartment. He was alive and well and Timmy couldn’t believe his eyes.

“No, no, that’s alright,” Armie said quickly, fiddling with the lapels of his coat. “I haven’t looked in the mirror in a few days, so I believe you.”

Timmy stared at him, his lips parted in shock. “Where have you… I mean, how come you-... Jesus, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say.”

Armie smiled cautiously and when Timmy noticed that his eyes were flickering back and forth between his face and his chest, he finally realized how exposed he was. He covered himself with his arms and turned his head to throw a quick glance around his living room. He couldn’t locate anything to put on and he groaned in annoyance.

“Do you want to come in? I’ll put something on real quick,” he suggested, kicking the door open a little further to let Armie in.

“Yeah, I- I’d like that,” Armie agreed, before he stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind him. Timmy hurried into his bedroom on his tippy toes, muttering a quiet mantra of _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, what the fuck_ and took a pair of socks and a sweater from his closet. He threw the sweater over his head and was still putting on his last sock when he hopped back into the living room on one leg.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked Armie, feeling a little awkward at the sight of the man sitting on his couch, his coat discarded over the armrest. The man looked huge in his small apartment and Timmy didn’t know if that turned him on or frightened him a little. “I have coffee, or I could make you tea. I also have…” He opened the fridge and peered inside. “Orange juice, Coca Cola and water.”

“Just water is fine,” Armie answered with a smile, looking at Timmy over the back of the couch.

“Okay, yeah,” he muttered, feeling his cheeks flush. He took a glass from one of the cupboards above the sink and opened a cold bottle of water, before he poured it into the glass and took it over to Armie. Their fingers brushed when the man took it from him and if Armie hadn’t already been holding the glass, Timmy was sure that he would have dropped it.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, Tim,” Armie said, his voice soft and unsteady. Timmy frowned and studied his face for a second. He looked nothing like the man he had met six months ago. He looked exhausted - emotionally drained even - and Timmy could tell that something was wrong.

“What… Armie, what happened?” he asked carefully, sitting down on the other end of the couch.

“I promise I didn’t go silent on purpose,” the man immediately defended himself. “It was never my intention to make you think that I had given up on you or something. Are you mad at me?”

“Of course I’m not angry,” Timmy immediately answered, scooting a little closer to Armie. “I just thought that maybe, you know… You had gotten a little sick of me.” He shrugged and averted his eyes. “Especially after my last email… It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“I haven’t seen your last email yet, but I’m everything but sick of you. All day long, when I was still there, I couldn’t stop thinking about going home, just so I could see you again. But then everything happened and…” Armie sighed and sagged back into the couch cushions. Timmy watched him take a sip of water and put the glass down with a shaky hand. That worried him even more, so he tried to encourage Armie to tell him more, without making it seem like he was prying.

“What happened? You’re worrying me a little and I would like to help, if I can.”

Armie threw his head back and closed his eyes. “The day I sent you that last email, we went for a simple patrol around the area. It was hot and deadly quiet and I guess Nick got a little bored. He started playing around, challenging me to play tag and race him back to camp.” He paused for a moment, pressing his forefinger and thumb into his eyes.

“You’re freaking me out, Armie,” Timmy whispered, pulling his legs up onto the couch and tucking them under his butt. Armie rolled his head to the side and looked up at him with big, blue eyes, his lashes a little wet.

“I don’t mean to,” he whispered in response and Timmy nodded. He knew that.

“Did something go wrong?” he asked and he watched Armie flinch, his brows furrowing and his shoulders stiffening.

“That’s an understatement,” Armie scoffed and at first Timmy thought that he was getting a little irritated, but then he looked closer and figured out that Armie was just really struggling with reliving whatever had happened that had gotten him so upset.

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too much,” Timmy quickly told him, not wanting to push any further. The fact that Armie was here made him feel hopeful and he didn’t want to ruin any possible chances he still had.

“Remember when I said I was going to do things right, this time?” Armie asked and Timmy nodded. He remembered the butterflies in his stomach when Armie had written him that promise. “So, I’m going to tell you,” the man went on. “I’m just scared I might break down a little. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t really taken any time for myself and it’s… It’s so much.”

“Take your time,” Timmy told him softly, reaching out to rub a soothing hand over his forearm. Armie turned his hand, his palm facing up and he wiggled his fingers, almost like an invitation. Timmy hesitated for a second, before he slipped his hand in Armie’s and squeezed. If it was, in fact, an invitation and Armie needed the support of holding his hand, Timmy decided that he could definitely do that.

“We were walking along the fence, Nick a few strides ahead of me, and he was still trying to get me to race him back. I could feel in my gut that something was off, almost like I knew something bad was gonna happen. So, I… I pleaded for him to stop and be careful, but he shrugged it off and… Jesus, he just stepped on… He fucking stepped on a goddamn land mine, Tim.”

Armie’s voice broke in the end and Timmy’s heart was pounding in his chest as he shuffled closer and let go of Armie’s hand to wrap his arms around his neck. Armie pressed his face into the crook of Timmy’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist. His breathing was ragged and he shook, but he was otherwise quiet. Timmy ached for him, for the hurt he must have gone through. He wondered what had happened to Nick; if he had somehow survived, or if Armie had lost his best friend. That thought was even more painful and he held Armie close, rubbing a thumb across the nape of his neck.

“It was such a roller coaster,” the man eventually spoke. “I called for help, but they couldn’t track us, so I agreed to meet the squad halfway, but I never should have done that. If I’d stayed with him, he wouldn’t have… He wouldn’t have tried to… He lost his fucking leg!”

“Oh, Armie,” Timmy whispered, sitting up on his knees to press their bodies closer. Armie was shivering and Timmy suspected that it was the result of his emotions finally drifting to the surface, so he wanted to comfort Armie even more. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that happened to you guys,” he told him.

“Yeah, so,” Armie sniffed and nuzzled the side of Timmy’s neck. “A helicopter came to pick him up and I went with him. It was a big shitshow, with him going into surgery, developing an infection in the days after and then being rushed back into surgery again. We’ve only been home for two weeks and I’ve been taking constant care of him. I feel… I never should have left him alone. I’m such a horrible friend.”

Armie finally broke and he choked out a sob. Timmy’s chest coiled tight and he couldn’t swallow around the lump in his throat. He climbed into Armie’s lap and held the man through his sobs; cried with him until they were both out of breath.

“You’re such a good person,” Timmy told him gently, stroking the back of his head. Armie pulled back from their embrace and looked up at him, his eyes swollen and red rimmed. Timmy still thought he looked beautiful.

“I’m so sorry I made you cry. This wasn’t how I had imagined coming back to you,” he said, reaching up to wipe the tears from Timmy’s cheeks. “I’m so, so, so sor-”

“Hey, no,” Timmy shook his head and cupped Armie’s chin. “I’m not crying because I’m disappointed. God, I was so worried about you, Armie,” he said, biting the inside of his cheek to suppress another fresh load of tears. “At first I thought that you simply didn’t want me anymore, but then I wondered if something could have happened to you and I was so scared. What you just told me…” He ran a soft hand over Armie’s jaw. “I’m relieved that you’re okay, but I’m so sorry that you had to go through something so awful.”

“I’m just so tired,” Armie whimpered, letting his head fall back against the backrest of the couch again. “I have nightmares.”

Timmy decided there and then that he was going to make sure that Armie was rested, before he would let him leave again. He probably wanted to go back to the hospital sooner or later and Timmy couldn’t blame him, but the least he could do was force him to get some sleep.

“Come on,” he said, as he got up from Armie’s lap and held out his hand. Armie frowned, but didn’t hesitate to take his hand and follow him.

“Where are we going?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over Timmy’s knuckles. Timmy smiled and looked back over his shoulder.

“You’re going to nap.”

Armie nodded and ran his free hand through his hair. Timmy liked that it was a little longer than the last time he had seen Armie and he hoped that he would let it grow out some more. He looked extremely attractive, despite the traces of tears on his face. 

“Will you stay with me?” he asked when they stepped into Timmy’s bedroom. Timmy closed the door behind them and steered Armie towards his bed.

“Only if you want me to.” He carefully pulled Armie’s sweater over his head and gestured for the man to take off his shoes and jeans. While Armie did as he was told, Timmy threw the covers back and took off his sweater and socks, before he got into bed and waited for Armie to join him.

“I really want you to,” Armie said, slipping in next to Timmy and pulling the comforter up over both of them. He snuggled up close to his side. “Hey, Timmy?”

“Hmm?” Timmy turned on his side to face Armie and softly stroked his cheek.

“Gonna kiss you now, okay?” Armie shifted closer and his warm breath ghosted over Timmy’s upper lip. His hand found Timmy’s hip under the covers and it almost burned through the fabric of his sweatpants.

“Yeah, I think that’s okay,” Timmy whispered. He placed his hands on Armie’s broad chest and leaned in. Armie’s eyes fluttered closed and as he followed his example, their lips touched in a warm, electrifying kiss. Armie’s lips were soft, his tongue was wet and pliant and as Timmy melted against him, he couldn’t help but think that this had been worth the wait.

* * *

When Timmy woke up again, it was to a wandering hand, trailing up and down the flat plains of his stomach. His back was pressed up against Armie’s chest and they had created a warm little cocoon underneath his comforter. Armie’s breathing was deep and even, so Timmy suspected that he was still asleep and he threw a glance over his shoulder to confirm his theory. Armie’s eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted and his cheeks were rosy. He looked almost serene and Timmy smiled happily. He took a moment to admire the man in his bed and suddenly felt extreme gratitude. He had been so scared that they wouldn’t get a chance to explore their connection in person, but Armie had found his way back to him and even though Timmy wished it had been under different circumstances, he still sent up a silent thank you.

He turned around in the man’s arms and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, before he looked over Armie’s shoulder at the alarm clock on his nightstand. It read 1:36PM, meaning that they had napped for a good two and a half hours. He didn’t want to wake Armie yet, so he shifted closer, wrapped an arm around his waist and snuggled into his chest. Armie hummed in his sleep and threw his top leg over both of Timmy’s. Their hips touched and Timmy gasped when the length of Armie’s cock, thick and rock hard, pressed up against his lower stomach through the thin fabric of his boxer briefs.

It caught Timmy off guard and made him deliriously happy at the same time. He couldn’t know if he was the cause of it, but Armie _had_ just spent six months in Afghanistan and he was probably a little touch starved. He could imagine the stress Armie had been under for the last few weeks and knew that he was possibly in desperate need for some release, but he didn’t want to initiate anything; afraid that it wasn’t his place to do so. They hadn’t even had a proper talk about where they wanted things to go from here and he didn’t want to seem too eager; didn’t want to mess up a perfectly good opportunity to get to know Armie better before they got intimate again.

He was aware of all this, but it was still tempting, so he scooted back a little and pulled his legs back from where Armie had trapped them with his own.

“Mmm-no, stay,” the older man mumbled, slipping his arm around Timmy’s ribs and pulling him closer again.

“Armie,” Timmy whispered, but he didn’t know what to add to that. He didn’t want to make the man feel awkward.

“You’re warm and you smell good,” Armie said around a yawn, before he nuzzled his nose into Timmy’s neck. “Closer, please?”

Timmy closed his eyes, swallowed thickly and gave in to Armie’s wish. He lined up their bodies from toes to chests, his breath hitching when his cock touched Armie’s and hardened from the friction. He wanted to thrust into it so badly, but he bit his lip and stiffened his legs to keep himself from doing so.

“Tim? What’s wrong?” Armie asked, pulling back a little. Timmy looked up at him, feeling his cheeks glow, and he quickly shook his head.

“Nothing, nothing’s wrong. It’s just…” He cut himself off and glanced down between them, hoping that Armie would catch on to what he meant. The man followed his gaze, groaned and rolled over onto his back. He covered his face with his hands and shook his head.

“Jesus, that’s fucking embarrassing,” he whimpered, and then turned back to look at Timmy. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to come on that strong. I don’t want you to think that I’m only here for-”

“No! No, Armie, don’t be stupid. Of course I don’t think that,” Timmy said, giving the man a sweet smile. “It’s okay, honestly.”

Armie nodded and took a deep breath. “I should go,” he said, a sadness in his voice that Timmy couldn’t quite place. It almost sounded like Armie was blaming himself for something, and Timmy wondered if they might have been struggling with the exact same fear of not wanting to ruin things before they even had a chance to become _something._

“You don’t have to,” Timmy said, reaching out to cup Armie’s cheek and run his thumb over his cheekbone. “I could help you,” he then suggested, and he immediately wanted to take the words back. So much for not wanting to initiate anything.

“No,” Armie said, his voice wavering. “No, I promised to take you out and treat you right. The traitor will go down in a minute.” He rolled over on his side to face Timmy again and slipped his hand over his back, pulling him in by the shoulder, but leaving some distance between their hips. He rubbed the tip of his nose against Timmy’s and then pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. Their tongues only barely touched, but it was perfect and Timmy sighed into Armie’s mouth. The man shivered and pulled back, biting his lip with his eyes closed and a deep frown between his brows.

“Maybe I should help you out anyway,” Timmy whispered, tracing a finger along Armie’s spine.

“I don’t…” Armie shook his head and brought a hand up to twist one of Timmy’s curls between his fingers. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this. I want to be with you, whether we get physical or not. I’d wait months for you, if that meant I could have you, Timmy.”

Timmy’s heart swelled in his chest and he surged forward and captured Armie’s lips in another toe-curling kiss, deepening this one immediately. When they pulled apart, they were both breathing hard and Timmy was smiling from ear to ear.

“We’ve already been physical, silly,” he stated with a soft giggle, pulling a similar sound from the beautiful man in his arms.

“Yeah, but that was _before_ ,” Armie said, stroking his hand through Timmy’s hair and pushing it back from his forehead. “I don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I could never,” Timmy immediately reassured him and Armie fell silent for a moment; seemed to consider the offer.

“Will you at least agree to go on a date with me tomorrow?” he then asked, tracing the shell of Timmy’s ear with the tip of his finger. “Let me take you out for dinner, please.”

“Of course,” Timmy said, nodding vigorously. “I’d love to go out with you.”

Armie smiled and breathed a relieved little chuckle. “Okay, then-... Okay.”

“Yeah?” Timmy gently pushed Armie onto his back and let his fingers dance over the soft skin of his tummy. “May I?” He watched Armie closely as he circled the man’s belly button and when he nodded, Timmy curled his fingers under the waistband of Armie’s underwear. He pulled the garment down until it was bunched around Armie’s thighs.

“You should probably push your covers down too,” Armie told him, a blush creeping up his neck and over his cheeks. “Been a while.”

Timmy smiled and kissed him softly as he shoved the comforter down to their knees. He pecked Armie’s lips a few times, watched the expression in his eyes change to something heated and then reached for Armie’s cock. He stroked a finger up over the thick vein on the underside, before he wrapped his fingers around the man’s shaft and gave an experimental squeeze. He could barely close his hand around the girth and he had to suppress a pathetic whimper that was bubbling up in his throat. Everything about this man was massive and firm and Timmy was absolutely gone for him.

He slowly stroked Armie from root to tip, flicking his wrist when his palm slid over his wet slit. The precum gathering there made the slide a lot more pleasurable and Armie’s sighs quickly turned into moans. His hips bucked uncontrollably and pushed his cock up into Timmy’s fist.

It didn’t take long for Armie’s thighs to start quivering and he grabbed onto Timmy’s wrist, slowing his movement. “I’m gonna come,” he warned, but Timmy merely smiled and kissed him again.

“That’s okay, that’s the purpose of this.”

Armie laughed breathily and let go of his wrist to slip his hand around Timmy’s waist. “Smartass,” he scoffed, but it sounded so sweet that Timmy’s stomach did a little flip.

“You know it,” he whispered, before he picked up the pace again and rubbed his thumb over the sensitive little strip of skin under the rim of Armie’s glans with every stroke. Armie’s back arched and Timmy could see how his balls drew up tight between his legs. He skillfully aimed the tip of the man’s erection up to his stomach and stroked him two, three, four more times, before Armie exploded all over his own skin, streaking thick ropes of cum even as far as up to his neck. He panted loudly as Timmy stroked him through his orgasm and threw his head back into the pillow, thrashing it from side to side until the strongest waves subsided.

“Oh god,” he sobbed, as he slipped into a series of aftershocks. Timmy giggled and finally let go of his cock. He pressed a kiss to the side of Armie’s face, got up from the bed and skipped into the bathroom, where he washed his hands and retrieved a warm, wet washcloth for Armie. When he got back to the bedroom, Armie was still lying in the exact same position Timmy had left him in, breathing heavily with a dopey smile on his face.

“You look cute like this,” Timmy blurted out as he began cleaning Armie, gently sliding the cloth over his skin.

“What, covered in my own spunk?” Armie laughed quietly.

“Sure,” Timmy shrugged. Armie pushed him against the shoulder with no real intent and Timmy chuckled. When the man was clean, he dropped the washcloth on the floor, pulled Armie’s underwear up and slipped back into bed with him, pulling the comforter up to their chins.

“I need to go soon,” Armie announced as he rolled into Timmy’s side and folded himself around the boy’s slender frame. “I need to walk Archie and get back to Nick, but can we just… cuddle for a few more minutes?”

“Yes, please,” Timmy whispered, dragging his nose over Armie’s scruffy jawline.

“Thank you for letting me rest here.” Armie actually sounded a lot more relaxed and Timmy smiled in satisfaction.

“Any time.”

* * *

Roughly an hour later, Timmy was back behind his laptop, typing furiously. Now that Armie was back, so was his inspiration and the words kept pouring out onto the page. The man had left a while ago, but not before he had put his number in Timmy’s phone and told him to be ready at 7PM sharp on Sunday. The anticipation of a date had Timmy squirming in his seat, but he refused to let himself freak out over it yet. He’d call Saoirse and Florence later, to have a bit of a break down over what he was going to wear, but for now he wanted to concentrate on his writing.

That is, until his mind unconsciously went over the conversation he’d had with Armie.

He remembered him saying that he hadn’t looked at his email yet and realized that that meant that he also hadn’t seen Timmy’s daring picture. Timmy instantly left his Word document for what it was and picked up his phone. He opened a new chat with Armie and held his breath as he quickly typed a message.

 **Timothée**  
_Hey, so… If you haven’t read your email yet, could you be a dear and delete my last one? Don’t open it, just delete it. xo_

It only took a minute for Armie to reply.

**Armie**  
_Why? Is it naughty?_

**Timothée**  
_Just do it, please? I don’t think you’d be impressed with my choices._

**Armie**  
_Let me be the judge of that…_

“Nooooo,” Timmy groaned, hiding his face in his hands. He tugged on his curls in embarrassment, but there was also a hint of excitement in his stomach. Because what if Armie _was_ impressed? What if he did appreciate the damn picture? He didn’t have to wait long to find out.

**Armie**  
_Mother of… Jesus, Timmy. I don’t deserve you._

Timmy bit his lip to suppress a grin, which was futile, as his heart fluttered and happiness spread through his body like wildfire. He quickly thumbed back a reply and then threw his phone back on the table, diving into his writing once more.

 **Timothée**  
_I want you to have me anyway._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it what you expected? Better? Worse? Let me know ♥
> 
> getmehighonmagic on Tumblr and @peachyperfectao3 on Insta!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie was a few minutes early when he stepped out of the cab in front of Timmy’s apartment building. He saluted the driver, who had agreed to wait for him to get back with his date. Feeling confident and excited, Armie pressed the button next to Timmy’s name and it only took a few seconds for the door to open. He couldn’t suppress the smug grin that spread out on his face as he entered the hallway and started climbing the stairs to the fourth floor. He could picture Timmy waiting by the door, feeling just as eager to see him again. After their sweet reunion and constant texting, it was what he truly hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to wish you all a Happy New Year! I don't think I've done that yet, but I'm so very grateful for all of you and I wish you the very best, most beautiful year. May we burn 2020 and bury its ashes somewhere we'll forget all about it.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this monster of a chapter! Thank you to **Jolieprudence** for doing my beta and being awesome in general ♥

“Guess what?” Nick grinned when Armie walked into his hospital room at noon on Sunday. He’d been there for breakfast as well, but his friend had insisted he’d go home to take another nap and for once, Armie hadn’t protested. He and Timmy had been steadily texting back and forth since he had left his apartment the day before and it seemed to ease his mind a little bit. He had still woken up from a nightmare that morning, but it hadn’t been as graphic and he had been able to fall asleep for another hour. That was a step in the right direction at least, so when Nick had told him to go home, he’d given in. He had a date to prepare for after all, and he wanted to be well-rested.

“Oh, this is a fun game,” Armie said with feigned enthusiasm. “Okay, um… They took a scan of your head and discovered you’re actually insane?”

“You are such a fucking dick,” Nick exclaimed on a breathy laugh. He picked up the closest item within his reach and threw it at his friend. The magazine came flying at Armie’s head and he dodged it with a shriek, before he burst out laughing and picked it up from the floor. He dropped another brown paper bag on Nick’s bedside table and put the magazine back where it came from, before he chucked off his coat. 

“Just grilled cheese and tomato this time,” he said, gesturing to the bag, but Nick didn’t seem any less enthusiastic about it. Any food was better than hospital food in his opinion. “Tell me what’s up.” Armie sat down on the edge of Nick’s bed and took the styrofoam container out of the bag.

“They cleared me this morning,” Nick told him with a grin, rubbing his hands together in excitement. “I get to go home tomorrow.”

“Really?” Armie’s eyes widened in surprise and he smiled brightly at his best friend. “Niki, that is awesome, man!”

“You ready for me to take up all your space?” Nick accepted the sandwich from him when he handed it over and took a big bite. He chewed with his mouth closed for a moment and sighed happily. “I’ll still have therapy twice a week and I need to practice those damn exercises at home,” he then went on. “But I don’t need to stay here anymore and frankly, I’m sick and tired of it. I can’t wait to sleep in a normal sized bed, even if it’s the one in your guest room.”

“We’ll make it work,” Armie nodded with a reassuring smile. “You know I don’t mind having you over. That’s what friends are for.”

“Thanks, man.” Nick gently bumped his fist against Armie’s shoulder and took another bite of his sandwich. “I can’t wait to see Arch,” he said around his mouthful. “I missed that little weirdo.”

Armie snorted. “I think he’ll be equally pleased. I can tell he’s not very happy with me, being away this much.”

“I think my parents may have spoiled him,” Nick snickered. He put his sandwich down to take a sip of water. “Are you ready for your date tonight?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Armie shoved him playfully and took out a sandwich for himself to stall and give himself some time to think about the answer. Was he ready? He remembered feeling so impatient to get home and take Tim out to a nice restaurant; dreaming - as he lay in his small bunk bed in that god awful tent in Afghanistan - about the endless list of things he wanted to talk about with him. He didn’t want to get too far ahead of the situation, but he could really see himself in a relationship with Timmy and as much as that frightened him, he didn’t want to push the thought away. He wanted to pursue it.

“Yeah, definitely,” he eventually answered Nick with a grin.

* * *

Armie was a few minutes early when he stepped out of the cab in front of Timmy’s apartment building. He saluted the driver, who had agreed to wait for him to get back with his date. Feeling confident and excited, Armie pressed the button next to Timmy’s name and it only took a few seconds for the door to open. He couldn’t suppress the smug grin that spread out on his face as he entered the hallway and started climbing the stairs to the fourth floor. He could picture Timmy waiting by the door, feeling just as eager to see him again. After their sweet reunion and constant texting, it was what he truly hoped for.

When he reached Timmy’s apartment, the boy was already waiting for him, leaning against the doorframe. To conceal the way his breath got stuck in his throat, Armie smiled brightly at Timmy while giving him a once over. His date was dressed in a pair of tight-fitting black jeans, a neon yellow turtleneck top and a well-tailored black blazer. He wore a pair of black Dr Martens and his hair was worked into perfect curls with a bit of product, judging by the coconutty scent in the air. He looked radiant and Armie had a sudden urge to just walk down the street with him, holding his hand as he showed him off and claimed him as his.

“You look amazing,” he told Timmy, stepping closer to adjust the right lapel of his jacket, as if to find an excuse to touch him. He ran his hand over the fabric and sighed - almost in relief. He hadn’t always been so sure that they were actually going to make it to this point.

“So do you,” Timmy said, reaching up to briefly cup Armie’s cheek. “Where are we going?” he asked as he reached inside for his coat and keys, and then locked the front door behind him. He slipped his hand in Armie’s as they descended the stairs together. Armie’s heart skipped a beat.

“I made a reservation at _Petite Boucherie_. I thought you might enjoy the French cuisine.”

“Oh my God, yes,” Timmy practically groaned. “I haven’t had a French meal in such a long time. My Grandma used to cook for us when we’d spend our summers in France, but I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Does that mean I’ve already scored a few points?” Armie asked jokingly, squeezing Timmy’s hand and rubbing a thumb over his knuckles.

“You don’t need to score points, you big goof,” Timmy rolled his eyes and chuckled breathily. “You won me over several emails ago.”

The cab brought them to West Village in fifteen minutes and as soon as they stepped into the cozy little restaurant Armie had picked out, Timmy melted into his side, cooing at the interior.

“This feels like I’m back in France. It’s so homey and warm,” he said, running his fingers along the backs of a row of books, showcased nearby on a shelf. Armie smiled down at him and wondered if Timmy had always had so many freckles across his nose and cheeks. A waitress passed by them and Armie held up his hand. She stopped, her empty serving tray mid-air, and gave him a friendly smile. 

“Good evening, gentlemen.”

“Hi,” Armie nodded. “I have a reservation for two. Hammer?”

“Oh, yes! This way, Sir,” she said, gesturing for them to follow her. She showed them to a table in the back, with chairs on one side and a banquette on the other. It was originally set for four, but the girl seemed to have sensed the mood and took the two plate settings on the left side of the table away. Armie let Timmy slide into his seat on the banquette first, before he slid in next to him and took off his coat.

“I’ll bring you your menus in a second. Could I get you something to drink first?” the waitress asked, now balancing her full tray on her hip.

“Yes, we’d like a bottle of your sparkling rosé and a bottle of water, please,” Armie answered, sending Timmy a wink. His date blushed and tucked a curl behind his ear.

“I’ve never had sparkling rosé before,” he said when the waitress had left to retrieve their drinks and two menus.

“It’s really, really tasty and it’ll basically go with anything you order.” Armie twisted in his seat a little, so that he could face Timmy, and took the younger man’s hand in his. “Is it okay that I ordered for you, or should I not have done that?”

“No, no, it’s fine! I trust you,” Timmy assured him, tangling his fingers with Armie’s. “Tell me about your day. How is Nick doing?” He looked genuinely interested and Armie really appreciated that about this man. His face was like an open book, every emotion flashing across his features as he spoke and every thought process visible as he took in what he was being told. He had noticed it yesterday, when he had told Timmy about the explosion and he could see it now. It made him even more beautiful than he already was.

“He’s doing really well,” Armie said, after shaking himself from his short, Timmy-induced haze. “I was with him in the morning, but he sent me home for a nap and when I came back for lunch, he actually told me that he’ll be allowed to go home tomorrow. Or, well… he’ll be staying with me for a while, at least until he isn’t dependent on his wheelchair anymore.”

“Armie,” Timmy smiled, his face softening. “That’s so kind of you.”

Armie shrugged. “That’s what friends do. He’s the only one I’ve got, you know? Well, and you now, I guess… Right?”

Timmy didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned in and kissed Armie’s breath away, his lips soft and warm. It was just a lingering peck, but it spoke volumes and Armie exhaled slowly through his nose.

“Excuse me,” the waitress quietly interrupted them, as she placed their drink orders in front of them, the bottle of sparkling rosé in an ice bucket and the bottle of water next to it. Timmy quickly pulled back, a blush high on his cheeks and if Armie hadn’t already been gone for the man, he would have stumbled over the edge right then. The waitress handed them both a menu and with a friendly nod she left them to make their choices.

They chatted over hors d'oeuvres, slowly shifting closer to each other, until their thighs were touching and Armie’s arm had made its way across Timmy’s shoulders. He was loosely dragging his fingers over the younger man’s neon clad upper arm, as Timmy had taken off his jacket a little earlier. Armie noticed that his cheeks would darken a little every time they looked at each other and he found it incredibly attractive. Now that he had the opportunity to study the man a little closer, he absorbed his beautiful features like a dehydrated man in desert heat. He would know; he’d been there. Armie was fascinated by the way his face moved when he talked; the way his lips curled up into a smile when their eyes met and the way he made his freckles move by scrunching his nose. Timmy was beautiful and even though it was hard to concentrate on anything but his beauty, Armie didn’t miss a single word he said.

When their main courses arrived, Timmy praised the presentation of Armie’s red wine-braised beef with carrots, pearl unions, lardons and mushrooms, before he dug into his own Chateaubriand. His filet mignon was perfectly grilled and he seemed to equally enjoy the bordelaise sauce, judging by the sinful sounds he was making. Armie noticed that he didn’t touch his potato puree all that much, but he dunked his greens into the sauce and ate them too, so he wasn’t going to comment on it. He desperately wanted Timmy to enjoy himself, because he hoped to repeat this evening as soon as possible.

The bottle of sparkling rosé was empty before the waitress came back to collect their empty plates. Armie poured them both a glass of water, to rinse his mouth more than anything else. He knew they served an excellent chocolate mousse here and he wanted the full experience.

“I’m having a great time, Armz,” Timmy said, causing butterflies to flare up in Armie’s stomach. _Armz._ He liked that.

“I’m glad, you deserve it.” Armie sent him a soft smile and leaned in to press a sweet, lingering kiss to Timmy’s lips. His date sighed happily and slipped a hand over his thigh, squeezing gently. Armie’s breath hitched and he moved into the touch, spreading his legs a little under the table. Timmy broke the kiss and giggled. He grazed the inside of Armie’s thigh with his thumb and then pulled his hand back.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, scrunching his nose again and Armie wanted to kiss it.

“You’re definitely allowed to do that,” the older man told him, lifting his hand to cup Timmy’s cheek. “Perhaps not here, though,” he added with a chuckle and Timmy laughed. He leaned into Armie and pressed his forehead against the man’s shoulder.

“I like you so much,” he whispered.

Armie grinned broadly. “I like you more.”

The cab was serenely quiet on the drive back to Timmy’s apartment. Armie gently twirled a few of his date’s curls around his fingers, as he had dropped his head onto his shoulder and had snuggled into his side. They had talked endlessly all through dinner, but the moment of silence between them didn’t feel awkward in the least. In fact, Armie quite enjoyed it. There was something about Timmy’s slow, steady breathing and the smell of coconut that seemed to cling to everything he touched that gave Armie a sense of calm he hadn’t felt in a long time. Not just during the chaos of the last few weeks; long before that. Maybe even before he had joined the Marine Corps.

“I wish tonight didn’t have to end,” Timmy suddenly spoke up. He nuzzled his nose under Armie’s jaw and sighed. “I don’t understand my feelings for you.”

Armie frowned. That didn’t sound very promising and it confused him, after the evening they’d had. “What do you mean?” he asked, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. Timmy shrugged.

“I haven’t been on a date in months, maybe even a year. I don’t-... Armie, I don’t let people in all that often,” he said, sitting up a little. He looked up at Armie and blindly took the man’s hand in his. “But yet here you are; wiggling your way into my soul. And we’ve been on one date! That’s weird, right? We started this off all wrong, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother me the way it should.”

Armie smiled and reached out to tuck a curl behind Timmy’s ear. “Maybe you’re overthinking it,” he suggested gently.

“Like I always do,” Timmy mumbled, dropping his gaze. He fiddled with the zipper of his coat and shrugged, shook his head, then shrugged again.

“Hey,” Armie softly said, placing a finger under Timmy’s chin. He lifted his head and made sure the man’s eyes were on him. “There’s no need for you to feel insecure about this, because I feel the same for you. So what if we started this off wrong? Does it feel right, now?”

Timmy nodded. “Nothing has ever felt this right.”

“Good,” Armie smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to Timmy’s forehead. “Now, about you not wanting tonight to end… Do you want to come back to my place and walk Archie with me?”

“You’re really gonna let me meet Archie already?” Timmy wiggled excitedly in his seat, a wide, open-mouthed grin taking over half of his face. Armie laughed.

“Under one condition.” Armie tried to look as serious as he could master.

“Yes, anything!” Timmy’s eyes sparkled and Armie praised himself for the fact that he had been able to contain himself so far, because he was sure he was going to lose his shit over this man sooner, rather than later.

“You hold his leash,” Armie said, cocking a brow.

“Deal!” Timmy agreed enthusiastically. Armie snorted, tucked Timmy into the crook of his arm again and told the cab driver about their change of plans.

* * *

Timmy shrieked with laughter as he was being dragged down the street to the entrance of the dog park. Armie chuckled at his flailing limbs and trotted behind his date at a much slower pace, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat. It was chilly outside, but he barely even noticed it. He felt warm all over.

“You could have warned me, Armz! Why is he so freakishly strong?” Archie finally slowed down by the gate and Timmy bent down to pet the curly fur behind his ears. Archie panted and nuzzled into Timmy’s hand, clearly ecstatic over having found a new best friend. Armie shook his head in amusement and quickly caught up with them.

“I often take him on a run in the morning,” he shrugged, reaching past Timmy to push the gate open. It would close around midnight, so they had plenty of time to wear Archie out. The park was brightly lit by street lights and even though it was dark outside, there were still quite a few people out, doing their last walks before they turned in for the night.

As soon as the gate was closed, Timmy let Archie off his leash and the dog took off running, his tail wagging excitedly. Armie watched him run in circles for a moment, before he darted towards a tree and stopped to take a whiff.

“God, he’s insane,” Armie snorted. Timmy laughed softly, moved a bit closer and as they walked along the fence, he slipped his hand in Armie’s and tangled their fingers.

“I love him,” he giggled. His eyes stayed on Archie, who had now found another dog to play with. They were each tugging on an end of a stick, growling playfully. Armie couldn’t find it in him to take his eyes off of Timmy long enough to look at the scene.

_I love you._

Back at his apartment, Armie boiled some water and made a cup of tea for Timmy. The younger man was snuggled up on the couch, his nose and hands red from the cold and Archie sprawled out on his lap to keep him company while Armie busied himself in the kitchen. Timmy looked right at home in his space and Armie found himself thinking that he wouldn’t mind it if he decided to come over more often. Or never leave again, whatever worked for him.

“Thank you,” Timmy told him gratefully when he handed him the big mug of steaming hot tea. Armie sat down next to him and held out his arm for Timmy to crawl under. Archie huffed when his new best friend eagerly responded to the invitation and settled down again, once Timmy was comfortable. 

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Armie asked, rubbing a hand up and down over Timmy’s arm and side. The younger man blew into his mug and shrugged.

“Sure. I might fall asleep, though. Your couch is so comfy.”

“Are you tired?” Armie asked, his brows furrowing in concern. “I can walk you home, if you’d rather go to bed.”

Timmy stayed silent for a long time and Armie could tell that there was something on the tip of his tongue, but he seemed to swallow the words with the first sip of his tea. He ran a hand through his curls, fiddled with the fabric of his turtleneck and scratched at his nose. He inhaled deeply.

“What if I want to stay here?” he then asked, his voice wavering. Armie smiled.

“Do you?”

Timmy bit his lip. “Is that dumb?” he asked, his cheeks flushing. “We shouldn’t do that yet, right? It’s just the first date. Why the fuck am I pushing this so hard? It’s not like we’re gonna run out of time or something; you’re right here.” He sounded like he was mostly talking to himself and Armie thought it was adorable. 

“Tim, if you want to sleep here with me, I’d be the last person to complain. As I told you earlier; if it feels right, why question it?”

Timmy nodded and seemed to consider his words. A small grin then curled around his lips. “I don’t have clean underwear. Or a toothbrush.”

Armie laughed and affectionately ruffled his curls. “I can get you both. Now, drink your tea.”

“I just have to text my friends,” Timmy said, trying to reach for his phone in the pocket of his jeans without disturbing Archie. “They worry over nothing, I swear.”

“That just means that they love you,” Armie told him, thinking about how worried he’d been about his friend for weeks now. Nick would do the same for him.

* * *

Later, after closing down the apartment and taking a quick shower, Armie was waiting in bed for Timmy to emerge from the bathroom when his phone vibrated on his nightstand. He picked it up, tapped the screen and it lit up with a text from Nick. Immediately his heart started pounding. Nick didn’t usually text late at night, only when something was up, and Armie was instantly prepared to slip back into his clothes and drive to the hospital. He sat up against the headboard and opened the text.

**Niki**  
_i can’t fucking sleeeeep. how was your date? ___

Armie sighed in relief and breathed a soft chuckle. He could picture his friend fidgeting in that small hospital bed, too excited to finally go home to be able to find a comfortable position to rest in. Nick had always been a restless person. He was smart, rational and emotionally available, but always on the go. He’d be a real catch for the lucky lady who would be crazy enough to attempt to tame him. Armie smiled at the thought and quickly typed his response.

 **Armie**  
_Well… I’m not sleeping alone tonight, so..._

**Niki**  
_dicking on the first date already? so slutty_

**Armie**  
_We’re taking things slow, asshole._

**Niki**  
_sure you are. let’s see who caves first_

**Armie**  
_Shut up, or I’m leaving you there tomorrow._

**Niki**  
_no pls come get me i love you i’m sorry_

**Armie**  
_That’s what I thought. Try to sleep, Niki. I’ll see you in the morning._

**Niki**  
_ugh yes dad_

Armie put his phone back on the nightstand and was just about to crawl back under his comforter, when Timmy shuffled into the room, holding on to the waistband of the boxer briefs he’d borrowed from Armie. They didn’t look like they’d drop to his knees if he let go of them, but it was obvious that they were far too big for him. 

__“Those look cute on you,” Armie snickered. Timmy stuck out his tongue and scrunched his nose. He waddled over to the bed and slipped under the covers, pulling them up to his chin._ _

__“I’ll probably end up naked. Maybe I need to do more squats,” he mumbled and Armie couldn’t keep himself from laughing out loud this time. He flicked off the light beside his bed and lay down on his side, facing Timmy._ _

__“I like you just the way you are,” he told the younger man honestly. “Did you manage to find everything?”_ _

__“Yes,” Timmy nodded, scooting a little closer. “Your water pressure is amazing. I could have stayed in there for another half hour.”_ _

__“Any time you’d like,” Armie smiled, before he reached out a hand and gingerly placed it on Timmy’s hip. He wasn’t sure if he should initiate a cuddle, but before he could decide, Timmy did it for him. He rolled into Armie’s embrace and wrapped both of his arms around his waist. His damp curls tickled Armie’s cheek as he buried his face in the crook of his neck and tangled their legs. They touched _everywhere_ and Armie could cry from sheer happiness. This was what he had dreamed of, after falling asleep amongst his fellow marines for months; after looking at those pictures Timmy had sent him and hoping he’d get to see that smile in person. He couldn’t believe his luck._ _

__Timmy squirmed in his arms, tilted his head and let his lips graze over the scruffy skin of his jaw. He kissed up over his cheek, softly nuzzled the tip of his nose against Armie’s and then brought their lips together in a warm kiss. Armie inhaled sharply, tightened his hold on the younger man’s waist and squeezed him even closer against his front. Timmy keened quietly and deepened the kiss, making Armie’s toes curl. When their tongues found each other, it was like fireworks exploded behind Armie’s closed eyelids and with that, he lost the little self-control he had left._ _

__He rolled Timmy over onto his back and settled on top of him, supporting himself on his elbows next to Timmy’s head, so as not to put his full body weight on him. Timmy’s legs spread and wrapped around his hips. His heels dug into the back of Armie’s thighs, pulling him in even closer and the moment their groins collided was the moment that broke the spell. Armie pulled back from the kiss and stared down at the beautiful man in his bed, underneath him. Timmy’s pupils were blown wide, his cheeks rosy and his lips plump, slightly damp with spit. He looked entirely fuckable and Armie had to take a deep breath to suppress the urge to ravage him._ _

__“I’m sorry,” he whispered, lifting a hand to push Timmy’s curls off his face. The younger man bit his lip, brought both arms up and swung them around Armie’s neck._ _

__“I’m not,” he answered, slowly rolling his hips up into Armie’s. “Unless you don’t want to, of course. Then I’m sorry too.”_ _

__“I wanted to treat you right,” Armie said hesitatingly. His voice was still barely above a whisper and he felt a little embarrassed about it, but Timmy merely smiled._ _

__“I’ve never been treated so right by anyone,” he said, cupping the side of Armie’s face with his right hand. He traced the man’s bottom lip with his thumb and pulled it down a little bit, parting his mouth. Armie’s breath hitched._ _

__“You’ll still go on dates with me, though? Right?”_ _

__Timmy laughed breathlessly, scrunched his nose again and nodded, letting his hand slip to the back of Armie’s head. He pulled him closer and playfully nipped at the tip of his nose. “Kiss me, silly,” he whispered._ _

__Armie blushed, took one good look at the angelic man underneath him and then gave in to what he wanted most. Their lips met in an open-mouthed kiss and their tongues greedily found each other. Armie savored the kiss as if it was the last time he’d get the chance to kiss Timmy, when in fact, it was just the beginning of what he hoped would be a long journey to the rest of his life. His heart was pounding in his chest, almost aching with the urge to make Timmy his._ _

__They kissed for a few long minutes, the air between them getting hot and humid, and before Armie was aware of what he was doing, he had pushed himself up on his knees and was shimmying Timmy’s boxers - or his boxers, technically speaking - down his hips. As soon as the fabric hit the floor, he was scooting down on the mattress between Timmy’s legs while pressing soft little kisses all down the man’s chest. He lingered briefly at his nipples, and then moved further down the smooth skin of his stomach._ _

__Timmy squirmed and writhed beneath him, keening softly, desperately. Armie could feel the tip of the man’s erection bumping up against the underside of his chin as he circled Timmy’s belly button with his tongue. It left his scruff a little sticky and he grinned in satisfaction. As much as he wanted to abandon his plan and take the man down his throat, he wasn’t going to. He’d save that for some other time, silently insinuating that there would be plenty more._ _

__Instead, he dragged his lips down the hard shaft, followed the thick, throbbing vein on the underside with the tip of his tongue and licked the seam between Timmy’s balls, all the way down to his taint._ _

__“Jesus, Jesus… Armie- Fuck!” Timmy’s thighs clamped shut on either side of his head and his back arched off the mattress. Armie could feel the man’s fingers slipping into his hair and he had to stifle a chuckle, thinking that he might not have been the only one who hadn’t been on the receiving end of an orgasm for a while._ _

__He brought his hands up and gently pried Timmy’s thighs away from his face. They fell open at his touch and with his palms placed against the insides, he kept them pressed into the mattress._ _

__“You okay?” he asked, glancing up at Timmy’s heated face. The younger man looked down at him, his eyes a little hazy, and bit his lip as he shook his head._ _

__“I don’t even know,” he croaked. Armie smiled sweetly and let go of one of his thighs to run a gentle hand over his quivering abs._ _

__“Do you want me to continue?”_ _

__“Please,” Timmy nodded, bucking his hips up in search of more friction. Armie smiled affectionately and ducked his face between the man’s legs once more. He nuzzled the crease between his crotch and thigh, nipped at the skin for a moment, and then licked his way between Timmy’s rear cheeks. He circled the tip of his tongue around his tight little pucker and pushed it past the rim, dipping in and out a few times._ _

__“Nng, oh,” Timmy panted, curling his index fingers behind Armie’s ears. He stroked his thumbs over the man’s temples and when Armie looked up at him, he could see little beads of sweat forming under the curls that fell over his forehead._ _

__“Feel good?” Armie asked, before he flattened his tongue against Timmy’s opening and lapped up and down through his crease. Timmy rolled his lips into his mouth, threw his head back into the pillow and moaned in the back of his throat. Armie smirked and trailed the fingers of his hand, the one that was still resting on Timmy’s stomach, down to his pelvis, where he loosely wrapped them around the man’s cock. He stroked his thumb over the wet tip, before he dragged his foreskin down over his crown and toyed with the little sensitive strip under the rim. He brought his other hand to his face and abandoned Timmy’s opening for a few seconds to wet two of his fingers. Then, he lifted them to where his mouth had just been, and as he licked his way up over Timmy’s balls, the length of his cock and then into his wet slit, he pushed one of his fingers past the first ring of resistance and curled it upwards, easily finding Timmy’s prostate on the first try._ _

__“Oh my God, you’re gonna k-kill me,” Timmy gasped, spreading his thighs even further and pulling his knees up to his chest. He looked sexier than anyone Armie had ever been with and the man could feel his own cock leaking through the fabric of his underwear, but he was determined to make Timmy come first._ _

__He thrust his finger in and out a few times, wiggling it around to loosen Timmy’s tight muscles, before he added a second. When Armie was able to comfortably move them around, he leaned in and pressed his tongue up against Timmy’s frenulum, gently flicking it back and forth. A translucent string of precum spurted across his tongue and Armie swallowed it down greedily. The taste was a welcome one after six months of waiting, wanting, hoping to be with Timmy again. He curled his fingers and dragged the tips over the hard nub inside his lover, drawing another drop of arousal from him._ _

__“You’re gonna make me come like that,” Timmy warned, moving one hand from Armie’s hair to the side of his face. His fingers were shaking as he cupped them around Armie’s cheek and the older man smiled up at him with adoration in his eyes._ _

__“I want to,” he said, tonguing at the tip of his cock again. Timmy gasped and arched his back in pleasure, folding his feet behind Armie’s head._ _

__“Okay, well…” Timmy hissed, tugged on Armie’s hair and lowered his other hand to the sheets. He grabbed a handful and let his mouth fall open into a silent scream. “I’m gonna…”_ _

__Armie grinned and dug his tongue a little firmer beneath the crown of Timmy’s glans. He rubbed his fingers repeatedly over the man’s prostate and stroked his cock with his other hand, toying with the little fold of skin he so skilfully pulled back and forth._ _

__“Love that you’re uncut,” he panted breathily, nipping at Timmy’s foreskin, before he stimulated his frenulum again and curled the fingers inside him rather forcefully. This time Timmy actually did shout. His body went rigid, his thighs quaked where they framed Armie’s face and within seconds, his release was streaking across Armie’s tongue. Armie lapped it up greedily, almost thanking the good Lord above for the opportunity to be the cause of Timmy’s pleasure. He had craved this ever since admitting that he wanted more from Timmy, back in Afghanistan, and to finally be able to experience it made him feel slightly lightheaded. Armie suppressed a desperate little whimper and thrust his hips forward, seeking friction to ease his own arousal. His cock jerked in his underwear._ _

__“Nng, oh… Hmm,” Timmy breathed as Armie worked him through his orgasm. When the strong waves subsided and were being replaced by light aftershocks, causing his body to go slack, Armie withdrew his fingers and crawled back up over Timmy’s length. He stroked the younger man’s curls away from his forehead and pressed a soft kiss right between his eyes._ _

__“How do you feel?” he asked softly, his eyes following the tip of Timmy’s tongue, which repeatedly slid back and forth over his bottom lip. The soft pink skin glistened invitingly, so Armie leaned in and kissed it. Timmy keened against his mouth and deepened the kiss for a moment, before he pulled back to catch his breath. He looked up at Armie, his eyes almost wild with desire._ _

__“If you don’t get inside me in the next few _seconds_ , Armie…” he whispered, reaching up to wrap his arms around the man’s neck. Armie grinned._ _

__“Then what?” he asked teasingly, rolling his hips. His cock collided with Timmy’s and he was surprised to feel that the man hadn’t softened at all._ _

__“Are you gonna make me beg for it?” Timmy whined, lifting his hips up off the mattress to meet Armie’s thrust. He dug his nails into the back of Armie’s neck and kissed him again. Armie groaned and bit into the younger man’s plush bottom lip, before he soothed the skin with his tongue._ _

__“Some other time, maybe, but not today,” he said, before he pushed himself up and away from Timmy to reach into his nightstand. He retrieved a condom and the bottle of lube he hadn’t touched in a very long time. Then, he sat up on his knees and rid himself of his underwear, the piece of fabric joining the ones Timmy had worn on the floor. His cock sprang free and hit the skin of his stomach with a lude smack. Timmy giggled and reached for the hard organ, before he stroked the wet tip with his thumb._ _

__“So big,” he mouthed wordlessly. Armie blushed and gently pried Timmy’s hand away. His balls throbbed painfully. He tore open the foil package, rolled the condom down over his erection and generously coated himself with lube. He swiped the excess lube on his fingers between Timmy’s cheeks and then shuffled closer to position himself at Timmy’s entrance._ _

__“Take a deep breath for me,” he suggested gently. Timmy held onto Armie’s biceps, inhaled deeply and when he exhaled, Armie pushed forward, until the tip of his cock slipped inside Timmy past the crown. He waited for his lover to adjust, before he bottomed out and allowed himself a moment to catch his breath. It felt like Timmy was squeezing the life out of his cock and he was afraid it would all be over in a matter of seconds if he moved another inch._ _

__“Fuck, Timothée,” he panted, as he collapsed forward and pressed his elbows into the mattress next to Timmy’s shoulders, keeping himself from putting all his weight on the man beneath him._ _

__Timmy gasped, arched his back and dug his fingers into Armie’s shoulder blades. His cock twitched between their bellies, precum oozing from his slit. Armie stared at the man’s beautiful face in wonder._ _

__“No one ever calls me by my name like that,” Timmy whispered, rolling his lips a little._ _

__“Hmm,” Armie leaned in and kissed the side of his face. “Timothée,” he said again, drawing out the last syllable as he breathed hot air across the skin of the man’s neck._ _

__“Oh God, that’s so hot,” Timmy moaned, pulling Armie even closer. “Fuck me,” he pleaded, wrapping his legs around the older man’s hips. “Please, Armie, just… Oh.”_ _

__Armie smirked, framed Timmy’s head with his forearms and tangled his fingers into the man’s curls. He leaned in and gently brushed their lips together. “Gladly,” he whispered, before he kissed Timmy deeply and gave into what they both wanted most._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was that for a first date? Did you like it? Please don't hesitate to let me know in a comment ♥  
> getmehighonmagic on Tumblr and @PeachyPerfectao3 on Insta!


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